caffeine diary

For some reason I find the fact that I didn't used to be in Buffy fandom hilarious. It's like... as if there were a time before I knew I was gay or something.

117. (for guys) Sarah Michelle Gellar or Jennifer Love Hewwit: You mean for LESBIANS. And neither. I don't know what any of these people look like.

Things that will never not make me happy: They have nunneries for people like that. Oh male ministerperson ♥

Also making me giddy, the number of times current music = something to do with Roommate. I love her forever.

And found, by the clever device of finding backup CDs that actually had music on them and weren't totally corrupted! The song I was thinking of (See previous post) is called "Shepherd" and is by Kadie O and the Light.

Now to respond to the rest of my mom's email O_o

Instead of reading potentially scary email:

Seen at the journal of likeadeuce

List the first five OTPs that come into your head, but preferably from different fandoms.

1. McKay/Weir [SGA]
2. Keith/Veronica [VMars]
3. McGonagall/Hermione [HP]
4. Willow/Giles [BtVS]
5. Kaylee/Fred [Jossverse]

( there is a cut tag here )

Oh, the authorial intent wank! It never, ever, ever goes away. :)

It is January 30, and my LJ anniversary! Here's to four years, eight crushes, three girlfriends, seven states, three crappy jobs, one bachelor's degree, 130 credits, eighty-one daft obsessions, two thousand four hundred seventy-nine entries, over 10,000 comments posted, over 12,000 comments received, 223 mutual friends, 90/100 userpics, 150 ever-rotating interests, fifteen friend filters, 13 new TV shows, two new Harry Potter books, one appearance on fandom_wank, two main fandoms, innumerable ficathons, upwards of 124 pieces of fanfic, one death in the family, one move, one impending divorce, the great LJ blackout of 2005, and the very most wonderful community in the entire world.

I love you all.

:)

Happy anniversary, me.

1. Went to the bookstore. In the kids' section, biig display of Star Wars stuff: books, games, light sabers, etc. The display's label? "GREAT BOOKS FOR GIRLS."

Ka-CHING!

2. Tried to write Sam/Daniel/McKay/Weir fic, since the McKay/Sam/Weir fic joran wrote for me was so fabulous. Ended up veering into a distinctly uncheerful AU set on Earth, then I changed my mind and was heading towards McWeir smut set in Atlantis. My Gmail inbox is full of starred stuff that I'm writing or thinking of posting fannishly or interesting links or whatever.

3. There's a Daniel/Sam/Paul fic that's heading nowhere that was going to be backup for the OT3+ thon, but the original writer said she could take care of it, so I don't know what I'm going to do with it. The Sam characterization feels a wee bit off, anyhow. I haven't watched any SG-1 (or 'Lantis) for AGES.

4. Speaking of the fic joran wrote for me... it comes highly reccomended if you happen to be me. Perfect, adorable, woobieish, totally-a-bottom McKay. I <3 him so. I want to write fic where McKay subs to Elizabeth-not-hermionesviolin all the time. It's a moral failing.

5. I'm so tempted by the rest of the ATGB DVDs (I had no idea there were 9 series! I only have the first 4!) and Vicar of Dibly DVDs. And I want to watch the Keeping Up Appearances DVD my girlfriend gave me for graduation. Britcoms were totally my first fandom, and Jean/Lionel was my first OTP.

6. Actually, I really don't NEED 50 icons. I just need two. A McWeir one for fannish posts and an Old First one for real life posts. After all, do I really ever talk about anything else?

Okay, so my LJ has been sadly neglected for... two whole days! How could I?

Have been watching an insane amount of stuff that is slashy, femslashy, and cesty. Have spent every waking moment in cheese_munkey's room. Have eaten Chinese and pizza and my last meal at the dining hall.

Serenity: will email mosca very soon. If you happen to be reading, do you still have tickets available? I have a friend who might be coming from NJ. (Right hon? Are you reading this? I have secret stalker lovers!)

I think I will now finally catch the season finale of Veronica Mars, lest I be inadvertently spoiled.

My girlfriend will be here tonight so... there probably won't be much updating till after graduation.

[spoilers for VMars 1x22 - Leave it to Beaver]
( ! )

Watching Stargate for the plot is like subscribing to Playboy to read the articles.

( Sacrifices and Home )
ETA eye candy( eye candy in Sacrifices and Home )

Well, what do you know? Ability to resist LJ for more than four days apparently sorely lacking.

Fannish: watched 14 episodes of Buffy. Paltry. Extra-canonical 'ship of choice is Giles/Willow, and this is in NO WAY me Mary Sueing Willow. Why do you ask?

Also seen: "The Prince" (Andromeda), half of "Fear and Loathing in the Milky Way" (Andromeda), the pilot episode of Dark Angel, the first episode of Gravitation, "Cause and Effect" (TNG), "Remembrence" (The Sentnel), "Resurrection" (Stargate SG-1) and "Inauguration"(Stargate SG-1).

*waves*

I'm reading HP fanfic. I've been doing that lately, instead of homework or reading LotR. And I've discovered just what aldalindil meant with her poll about how OotP affected your ficverse. Because it's simply not possible to read fics where ( spoilers for OotP, la la la )
*relieved that her fandom of choice has an open canon, but not one with big surprises or drastic backstory coming, unless they really throw us for a loop* And they won't. I mean, they just won't.

Thoughts on slash and just what it is about two boys shagging:

See, for me, the question of why straight girls like slash is, at least on the surface, pretty straightfoward. Boys. Shagging. Boys pretty, two boys even prettier. So much for straight girls.

But why do I like slash? Moreover, why have references to queerness in mainstream novels always made my heart go pitta-pat in a way that nothing else really has? So much so that in one novel I read on page 598 or something, there's a reference to some random relative who lived in San Fransisco with an Airman and this struck me so deeply that, depsite the fact that it was irrelevent to the plot, I remembered it for years? Of course, I spent many years trying to figure out if I actually was looking at homoerotic subtext or if it was just my brain being dirty. Then, I reread and realized, yeah, they're clearly canonically gay. And then I found slash and realized it was a moot point. But the fact remains: Boys in love make me go squee like few other things, including female queerness. Sure, I read lesbian fluff, have several very bad lesbian novels on my bookshelf at home... but it doesn't hurt the way boys realizing they like other boys does.

And I realize that it's not really so much about being a fag-hag or a girlfag. Oh, I like the gaybois I know in real life, but it's not the same dynamic. It's all about the fictional gaybois, the literary gaybois, the Beautiful Slash Objects.

And it's not like I'm all about reading pulp written by actual gaymen. That's written for a different audiance, with different kinks, and they aren't mine. I mean, h/c is not a big thing in gay porn. Nor is UST, from my understanding.

So, for all we're stressing realism, for all I scream "canon!" really, I love playing in a fictional universe, and yeah, I feminize my gaybois, because I write the world and I write the Stargate universe from my perspective, and my perspective is decidedly feminine.

But explain to me this: gay male porn is about very masculine guys, very muscled, very... macho. And straight men's lesbian porn has very feminine women, high heels and lipstick and all. While in lesbian porn and in slashfic, the characters are somewhat androgynous. Is this a fundamental difference between boys and girls and what turns us on? Is it a function of the social construction of gender?

Am especially curious to hear from the gaybois on my list who read both slash and gay porn written by gay men.