caffeine diary

Today I sorted out the clothes I want to bring back with me to school, which I'm going to have my mom ship. I also found all the random books I've accumulated over break for reading on the train. I've got way too many of them but then, the train ride is way too long. I'll bring whole-wheat spagetti to eat on the ride. That's Sunday, though. I still have a whole day of vacation. It won't be much of a vacation, though, since this is what I have to do:

• go to the dentist to get my cavities filled


• finish packing


• get Dad to cut my hair


• see if I have time to go out for my first second ever attempt at driving


• return library books


• untrim the Christmas tree


• clean my room to make sure that I don't accidently leave anything behind


• zip my floppy and email it to myself, 'cause Della's floppy drive is bust


• get a prescription for flouride cream filled

So. Vacation, eh? We're going out for ice cream tonight, probably (yeah, shu'up. I know my teeth are unhealthy) to celebrate my being officially permitted to drive my parents crazy.

I talked to my grandpa on the phone today and thanked him for the Christmas present and so on and whatnot. *shrug*

*huge sighs*

I don't know why I feel so miserable... and it's not really misery so much as resentment. Or melancholy. Or unhappiness. Or something. But just reading everyone's LJs? I realize that I have finally and for real this time cut myself off from just about everyone. And... I don't know. That bothers me on some level. I absolutely realize why I did it and what I had to do, but I still feel guilty and I still feel sort of like I'd want to be a part of it, despite the drama, despite everything.

I got 7 hours of sleep last night, almost.

I'm going to take my learner's permit test today. I've got the Driver's Manual open on my lap, to be read and memorized before we leave.