caffeine diary

I went out tonight. To the Halloween mixer, which wasn't very... mixy. My feet hurt. My body hurts. I feel like I only just escaped in time before the panic set in. It was okay, some of the time, dancing with PEGs and stuff, but then I just... too much. Too bright. Too loud. Too... social.

I tried, you know. I let go. I just was. I danced. I let my body move. I tried not to think, just to be.

Fuck that.

Got whistled at by townies, too. EW. Am all creeped out. I looked hot tonight. I know it. I got flirted with by the random boy who was at lunch the other day. I'm a girl. I'm female. It's so weird. I'm in this tight little black dress, not slutty--okay, a little slutty, but tasteful. I wear it to church on Christmas Eve. But still. I looked good. I, who live in khakis and a t-shirt.

It's so weird.

And you know what? All I wanted was to be back here. Because as much fun as the friend people are, they aren't...