obsess obsess obsess
Jan. 8th, 2003 10:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wisdomeagleIt seems I need Something To Do. I have been repeatedly checking LJ and email to such an extent that it's abnormal, even for me. Pure and simple: I'm going nuts.
I know that I need time to heal and grow and learn and figure out who I am and what I've learned from my relationship with her, but before I can do that, I need to figure out how I'm going to survive till the end of the week. It's not like I have a lot of classes that I need to sit through and try to be sane during; I have two more classes and they're in my major so I happen to be really interested and aware of the subject matter without having to try really hard. That's not the problem. The problem is the other 23 hours in the day that I won't be spending in class. Not to mention Saturday. I have enough work to do to keep me busy from now till eternity, but unfortunately most of the work is reading, and for reasons that you will probably understand, I can't sit and read, especially not heavy, dense stuff, because if I try my mind will inevitably wander back to the endless litany in my brain and I'll realize that I haven't been reading for several hours.
I'd go for a long, long, LONG walk, but the same issue exists. Walking as a way to collect my thoughts is one thing, but even if I walk from here to eternity, I'll still be unable to walk away from my thoughts.
I've begun Xing days off my calendar. 7 days are gone. 358 days remain. It's going to be a long year. But then, last year was full of surprises... it began, you will recall, with the mysterious male creature, and it ended with Pome* and Sumita. So who knows what this year will end with?
In any event, I'm feeling this very large urge to Do Something and no idea what to do.... *checks email again* Nothing.
I know that I need time to heal and grow and learn and figure out who I am and what I've learned from my relationship with her, but before I can do that, I need to figure out how I'm going to survive till the end of the week. It's not like I have a lot of classes that I need to sit through and try to be sane during; I have two more classes and they're in my major so I happen to be really interested and aware of the subject matter without having to try really hard. That's not the problem. The problem is the other 23 hours in the day that I won't be spending in class. Not to mention Saturday. I have enough work to do to keep me busy from now till eternity, but unfortunately most of the work is reading, and for reasons that you will probably understand, I can't sit and read, especially not heavy, dense stuff, because if I try my mind will inevitably wander back to the endless litany in my brain and I'll realize that I haven't been reading for several hours.
I'd go for a long, long, LONG walk, but the same issue exists. Walking as a way to collect my thoughts is one thing, but even if I walk from here to eternity, I'll still be unable to walk away from my thoughts.
I've begun Xing days off my calendar. 7 days are gone. 358 days remain. It's going to be a long year. But then, last year was full of surprises... it began, you will recall, with the mysterious male creature, and it ended with Pome* and Sumita. So who knows what this year will end with?
In any event, I'm feeling this very large urge to Do Something and no idea what to do.... *checks email again* Nothing.
(no subject)
Date: 2003-01-08 08:10 pm (UTC)Ask me if you need anymore suggestions.
Re:
Date: 2003-01-08 08:32 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2003-01-09 03:39 am (UTC)