fic(let): "Garret" Olivia/Tara
Sep. 12th, 2005 02:21 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wisdomeagleTitle: "Garret"
Fandom: Buffy: the Vampire Slayer
Pairing: Olivia/Tara
Other pairings mentioned: Are all canonical.
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers/Timeline: AU from "Tabula Rasa"
Justification: For![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
femslash_minis free round, about hope, helping others, or overcoming adversity. I claimed Olivia because she's pretty.
Disclaimer: This fic=not rated by the MPAA or approved by Mutant Enemy.
Summary: Like something out of Burnett.
Words: 771
Garret
Olivia is cocoa skin and smooth and mundane and soft and laughter. Olivia says, "Any friend of Rupert's is a friend of mine." Olivia's is the name Tara was given when she told Giles she was leaving; Olivia's is the name Tara finds herself saying at night when she cannot sleep. Olivia's is the name that cures and causes Tara's insomnia. Olivia is a cozy flat that makes England seem comfortable and warm; other-than-Olivia is cold and rainy, slushy London streets extracted from Dickens or, more familiarly, Burnett. She wanders the streets of London and pretends she is Sara Crewe, but there are no friendly, chubby boys to give her hand-outs or kindly bakers who sell her buns.
Olivia is suspiciously silent about Rupert; there are layers of secrets about what Tara knows and does not know about Giles's secret life. She is less fond than she used to be of the idea of a secret life; six months of Willow kept secret, six months of Willow's friends not knowing, a lifetime of secrets from her father, have made Tara crave the sunlight of honesty. But Giles warned her; Olivia does not like the knowledge that demons are real. They frighten her.
Tara does not want to frighten Olivia, does not want to be a burden. She wants to be the safety to which Olivia comes home, the fire in the fireplace, the hot stew on the stove. She wants to be the sweep and swish of skirt and home, the comfort that her mother once was for her. The complicatedness of paying Olivia back for the kindness of her mother is best done simply, in small gestures, in unmystical potpourri and centerpieces, in hot water bottles tucked deep into Olivia's bed. They've traveled a century backwards to be together, to a time when two women living together in a flat in London were conveniently ignored, were friends or special friends, where neither one had to be the man because both were women, and this was one thing that Women Sometimes Did.
Tara pretends that Olivia knows this, but what Olivia knows is the financial district, and she knows it with tired shoulders that Tara rubs with oils that are not quite magic, knows it with deep sighs at the end of long days. She confesses, once, "Tara, it's good to have someone to come home to." And Tara blushes deep behind her ears and stammers that she's m-m-more than happy to be Olivia's homecoming.
Secrets. On the one hand, maybe this is a bad idea. Maybe she's here under false pretenses, maybe Olivia doesn't know she's praying to seduce her. Maybe she should be on her own, and maybe Olivia has secrets of her own. Maybe. She'd like things to be easy again, the way they were when Willow was everything, when they stood close to each other and magic tingled on the palms of her hands and they didn't need any words for the love that was new between them.
There are no magical shortcuts to intimacy with Olivia, who is staunchly anti-magic and makes Tara wonder what she and Giles ever saw in each other. She is gentle and funny and sometimes mentions Rupert, in passing, as if he were an amusing accident that happened to her more times than he should have.
"Do you miss him?" asks Olivia suddenly, in a way that makes Tara think she's been contemplating the question for months and finally can't help but blurt it out. "He's... he's a good lover, I'll grant you that." And Tara understands just how much she's been misunderstood.
"Oh-ohh. No. We're not... we never..." And she laughs. "I was dating a friend of his. A girl. W-willow. We were together for -- for a few years."
"What happened?" Olivia puts a hand on hers, and whether it's instinct or compassion, it soothes Tara enough to tell her. Truthfully, with words like "spells" and "magic" and "witch" that she's kept hidden, hidden, because Olivia doesn't want to believe they're true, because Olivia doesn't want to spend her life haunted by the spectres of the Gentlemen.
She finishes lamely, words slurring into tears with, "and then I decided on England, and Giles gave me your name."
"And I'm more than glad to have you here," Olivia tells her, almost honest.
"I'm more than gl-glad to be here," Tara confesses, and there's more honesty in her words than she wants Olivia to realize.
"Good. You're welcome to stay as long as you'd like, of course," Olivia tells her, patting her hand gently and conclusively, the end of the affair.
Fandom: Buffy: the Vampire Slayer
Pairing: Olivia/Tara
Other pairings mentioned: Are all canonical.
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers/Timeline: AU from "Tabula Rasa"
Justification: For
femslash_minis free round, about hope, helping others, or overcoming adversity. I claimed Olivia because she's pretty.Disclaimer: This fic=not rated by the MPAA or approved by Mutant Enemy.
Summary: Like something out of Burnett.
Words: 771
Garret
Olivia is cocoa skin and smooth and mundane and soft and laughter. Olivia says, "Any friend of Rupert's is a friend of mine." Olivia's is the name Tara was given when she told Giles she was leaving; Olivia's is the name Tara finds herself saying at night when she cannot sleep. Olivia's is the name that cures and causes Tara's insomnia. Olivia is a cozy flat that makes England seem comfortable and warm; other-than-Olivia is cold and rainy, slushy London streets extracted from Dickens or, more familiarly, Burnett. She wanders the streets of London and pretends she is Sara Crewe, but there are no friendly, chubby boys to give her hand-outs or kindly bakers who sell her buns.
Olivia is suspiciously silent about Rupert; there are layers of secrets about what Tara knows and does not know about Giles's secret life. She is less fond than she used to be of the idea of a secret life; six months of Willow kept secret, six months of Willow's friends not knowing, a lifetime of secrets from her father, have made Tara crave the sunlight of honesty. But Giles warned her; Olivia does not like the knowledge that demons are real. They frighten her.
Tara does not want to frighten Olivia, does not want to be a burden. She wants to be the safety to which Olivia comes home, the fire in the fireplace, the hot stew on the stove. She wants to be the sweep and swish of skirt and home, the comfort that her mother once was for her. The complicatedness of paying Olivia back for the kindness of her mother is best done simply, in small gestures, in unmystical potpourri and centerpieces, in hot water bottles tucked deep into Olivia's bed. They've traveled a century backwards to be together, to a time when two women living together in a flat in London were conveniently ignored, were friends or special friends, where neither one had to be the man because both were women, and this was one thing that Women Sometimes Did.
Tara pretends that Olivia knows this, but what Olivia knows is the financial district, and she knows it with tired shoulders that Tara rubs with oils that are not quite magic, knows it with deep sighs at the end of long days. She confesses, once, "Tara, it's good to have someone to come home to." And Tara blushes deep behind her ears and stammers that she's m-m-more than happy to be Olivia's homecoming.
Secrets. On the one hand, maybe this is a bad idea. Maybe she's here under false pretenses, maybe Olivia doesn't know she's praying to seduce her. Maybe she should be on her own, and maybe Olivia has secrets of her own. Maybe. She'd like things to be easy again, the way they were when Willow was everything, when they stood close to each other and magic tingled on the palms of her hands and they didn't need any words for the love that was new between them.
There are no magical shortcuts to intimacy with Olivia, who is staunchly anti-magic and makes Tara wonder what she and Giles ever saw in each other. She is gentle and funny and sometimes mentions Rupert, in passing, as if he were an amusing accident that happened to her more times than he should have.
"Do you miss him?" asks Olivia suddenly, in a way that makes Tara think she's been contemplating the question for months and finally can't help but blurt it out. "He's... he's a good lover, I'll grant you that." And Tara understands just how much she's been misunderstood.
"Oh-ohh. No. We're not... we never..." And she laughs. "I was dating a friend of his. A girl. W-willow. We were together for -- for a few years."
"What happened?" Olivia puts a hand on hers, and whether it's instinct or compassion, it soothes Tara enough to tell her. Truthfully, with words like "spells" and "magic" and "witch" that she's kept hidden, hidden, because Olivia doesn't want to believe they're true, because Olivia doesn't want to spend her life haunted by the spectres of the Gentlemen.
She finishes lamely, words slurring into tears with, "and then I decided on England, and Giles gave me your name."
"And I'm more than glad to have you here," Olivia tells her, almost honest.
"I'm more than gl-glad to be here," Tara confesses, and there's more honesty in her words than she wants Olivia to realize.
"Good. You're welcome to stay as long as you'd like, of course," Olivia tells her, patting her hand gently and conclusively, the end of the affair.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-09-12 08:22 pm (UTC)I need to seek out more Tara-fic, but I can hang around here and read the things you choose to write. =)
(no subject)
Date: 2005-09-12 10:50 pm (UTC)I was trying to head for some sort of meditation on the "hope" theme, and was kind of afraid it went too far towards the not-so-hopeful, so am glad there were still some shreds of hope left.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-09-13 12:50 am (UTC)This is gonna get added to the long list of fics I need to write, isn't it?
[What, you want actual feedback? Honesty Girl that I am, I hearted those sections. And I really liked the descriptions of London. And the bun-seller I was like "Detail! That I actually remember! Woot!"]
(no subject)
Date: 2005-09-13 01:16 am (UTC)Unrelated: did you see on
(no subject)
Date: 2005-09-13 01:26 am (UTC)Really? I'm surprised.
Am glad you are coming with me on the pairing.
Dude, I so already told you that. [And damn, I still need to (re?)read and feedback that Ethan/Willow. Hopefully this weekend.]
the FF marathon in Brookline
I saw it via
(no subject)
Date: 2005-09-13 03:35 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-09-14 07:20 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-09-13 03:54 pm (UTC)Maybe she should be on her own, and maybe Olivia has secrets of her own. Maybe. She'd like things to be easy again, the way they were when Willow was everything, when they stood close to each other and magic tingled on the palms of her hands and they didn't need any words for the love that was new between them. I love that part because to me, part of the reason Tara wanted Olivia was that she was all Tara had right then. It makes me think that maybe if Tara was on her own - and I hate to say this because I think Tara did have the strength to be very indepedent, but we do all have to grow up even more sometimes - things would be better for her.
That last bit was so sad and yet leaves it somewhat open for good things to still happen. Maybe it's the push Tara needs to be more indepedent? And yet... maybe there's still time for Olivia to make her move. I'm with
Wow... I rambled a bit there, didn't I? :)
(no subject)
Date: 2005-09-14 07:27 pm (UTC)It makes me think that maybe if Tara was on her own - and I hate to say this because I think Tara did have the strength to be very indepedent, but we do all have to grow up even more sometimes - things would be better for her.
Hmm! That's really interesting since as everyone knows, I Over-Idenitify Way Too Much with Tara... and most people agree Tara is at her best and strongest after breaking up with Willow.
There was some more of this, but I couldn't make it stop feeling like my own stupid wish-fulfilling fantasies, so I cut it short (which might be why it feels so much like it needs a sequel.) The non-romantic sequel hadn't even occurred to me, because I am an utter spaz.
Thanks so much for feedback, hurrah!
(no subject)
Date: 2005-09-15 05:07 am (UTC)They've traveled a century backwards to be together, to a time when two women living together in a flat in London were conveniently ignored, were friends or special friends, where neither one had to be the man because both were women, and this was one thing that Women Sometimes Did.
The whole era and culture of romantic friendship is fascinating to me, and I love the way you've worded it, "traveling backwards through time".
(no subject)
Date: 2005-09-15 01:57 pm (UTC)+1 for recognizing what I was alluding to with the whole romantic friendship thing
+1 for Burnett!
Thanks for reading and feedbacking, yay!