bullet points: [aka The Hair Post]

[wisdomeagle]

Ugggh, am so tired! So, bullet-point list:
-so much stuff to do, including thesis revisions, that am too tired to do! My sleep iz pastede off unyey! and I am horridly TIRED all the time. It's hideous! Must get more sleep! *slaps own wrist*

- SGA meta: Is Rodney a virgin? Is Rodney necessarily not a virgin? Discuss. (My own feeling is that he's probably not, technically, a virgin, but hasn't been in an actual serious relationship pre-series.)

-girly stuff: do you shave? why/why not? Have any riveting hair stories? Me, I'm a hairy-legged feminist because I'm too lazy to shave and because I truly, deeply believe I shouldn't have to shave my legs or underarms when boys don't, especially as shaving legs and pits is associated in my mind with deep shame about having hair, cf. the ritual of shaving one's face for the first time that is a proud transition to manhood. BUT I don't wear clothes that lets others see my unshaven legs and armpits because I have hair-shame and think it looks ugly! I'm an ambivalently bad feminist.

-what do you like in the blogs you read?

-Had bizarre moment last night of cognitive disconnect when I couldn't believe that I actually existed and this was my life and especially that I had a girlfriend and was actually functional. Was very, very strange moment.

-Need to finish matching up assignments for OT3+ thon. Think might extend due date as am being slow with doing match-ups. They are hard!

-new ats_nolimits. Other fic I have open and am planning to read:: Another Song About Mexico (Xander/Oz) and Absurdity Theory (McKay/Zelenka I think).

-going to get ice cream and food now and then probably go to sleep. Earplugs are the greatest invention ever!

Comments

[sk8eeyore.livejournal.com]

I don't shave for the reasons you mention, in addition to the fact that I just can't. I'm a complete unskilled klutz when it comes to shaving--at least my legs (I don't mind doing my armpits occasionally). I have a scar on my right ankle that will be there *forever* thanks to my last benighted attempt. Even though lots of girls at Hollins don't shave, and even though I actually *like* the way my legs look (they make me feel girlier than shaven legs would, 'cause they're so soft!), I rarely have the confidence to wear clothes that would show them off. :( I'm thinking I should go all out during these remaining weeks at Hollins and just not care, because I might not live in an atmosphere with this much openness ever again...

I know plenty of girls who choose to shave for themselves because they like it, but it's personally really hard for me to identify with that, because it's so not worth the time or trouble in my mind.

[glimmergirl.livejournal.com]

BUT I don't wear clothes that lets others see my unshaven legs and armpits because I have hair-shame and think it looks ugly!

Oh! *hugs you in solidarity* I have the exact same angst.

I do shave my armpits, though, because I'm not so into the way deoderant doesn't work as well... That's possibly tmi and also possibly not an issue with everyone else. The hair itself doesn't bother me; I think, if you never shave under your arms, and the hair is all grown out, it looks fine.

Now, my legs. I hate shaving my legs, I hate the idea that I'm "supposed" do shave them, ugh. I just hate everything about it. From August to a few weeks ago there was no leg-shavage for me. (I thought I'd be wearing a skirt to a job interview, so I shaved the bottom half of my legs about a month ago, but haven't since.)

*However.* I do shave them, well, no, I use Nair or somesuch, because my skin does not like razor blades, ok, so I depillate if I'm going to wear a bathing suit. I don't wear short skirts, and I don't tend to wear shorts in public, so there's not too much need to get rid of the fuzz too often. Where my angstiness comes in is - I think leg hair on women is fine, it looks fine, it feeels fine, I have no problem with it. In general. My body hair is not fine or sparse, and (I think) very noticeable. I get all meepish about looking to, um, masculine or something.

So.

Way more than you ever wanted to know, right?

[silly-cleo.livejournal.com]

My body hair is not fine or sparse, and (I think) very noticeable. I get all meepish about looking to, um, masculine or something.

Oh, wow, it's so nice not to be alone with this, as I said in my comment below.

[silly-cleo.livejournal.com]

Ugh, I swear, hair is the bane of my life cuz I'm too lazy to shave but I come from The Hair Belt of the Mediterranean(have you read middlesex?) thus it's darker and thicker than most people's making it uglier. I usually don't bother with it until summer when I wax and wear clothes to hide it.

I'm SO glad I'm apparently not entirely alone in this though!

[wisdomeagle]

I know! I am so glad I posted this 'cos now there are others to share my hair-angst!

[silly-cleo.livejournal.com]

Hee, I swear, more people should break the TMI barriers like this and then we'd all be less isolated about such things. ;D

[sweetcommunist.livejournal.com]

I don't shave my legs because I'm really lazy and it takes too long and I don't enjoy being prickly when it starts to grow back. Also, I have very little body hair and it is ridiculously blonde. No one can tell that I don't shave them.
I used to be ambivalent about armpit shaving and would do it if I felt like it and not if I didn't. After I was told by someone with whom I was involved that he would find me significantly less attractive were I to have hairy armpits I stopped for good, because it offends me that the natural state of my body should be considered unattractive. I don't particularly want to become involved with anyone who would find that to be a deterrent, so I suppose it works as a filter of sorts for potential significant others. Although, I do think that the fact I have not shaved my armpits since then is more a testament to my stubborness than my feminist leanings.

[meyerlemon.livejournal.com]

I shave when wearing clothes that reveal The Parts. Or early in a dating relationship, when I'm still wearing the A team underpants. You know.

I have been thoroughly indoctrinated about Hair Being Bad And Not Womanly, of course. I have lots of angst about it.

[laynamarya.livejournal.com]

I do shave.

Not entirely regularly (I don't shave my legs in the winter, because really, I need everything I can possibly get to keep warm), but I do shave.

Why? Because I like smooth skin. Because I think of shaving as a kind of art, concerning something that is very oddly shaped and that I care about a great deal. It's something that takes a lot of practice to do well. I've cut myself many a time due to impatience, but now that it is art and not vanity, I take my time and do it carefully.

And also, I am obsessive-compulsive. I am fastidious about things like shaving, plucking, and washing my face.

But also, yes, I like to FEEL pretty, because I have more confidence in myself when I do, and then I stand up straighter and let less people push me around.

w00t.

[zeldaophelia.livejournal.com]

:)) *feels in the minority here*

I do shave semi-regularly. I prefer to wear skirts, a habit from working in a lab (no shorts allowed!) in AZ in the summer and can you say hot? Plus, I am a very fair-skinned person with very dark hair and lots of it. There's no way I can just 'get by' with not shaving and have it look okay, which makes me jealous of those who can. So I generally shave my legs regularly in the summer, not so much in the winter because I wear longer skirts or tights most of the time. But I will shave them the winter if I'm wearing shorter skirts. I shave my armpits regularly as well. :D

[mylittleredgirl.livejournal.com]

You: OMG! Poor you! *cuddles*

Rodney: Not a virgin. Appalling social skills, maybe, but he has a brain and a good job and money, and there are women (let's pretend I said "there are women in the fictional teevee Stargateverse" to make us feel better) who would take his arrogance for a brief affair or more. Strangely, a very good friend of mine is in a wedlock-headed relationship with a very smart someone who reminds me of Rodney in many ways. (I should point out that he and I actually don't get along... I find the critical abraisiveness much easier to take on TV!) Even more strangely, she is totally disturbed by the idea of McKay/Weir, which I only now realize is bizarre. Hmm. She does, however, keep ending up with McKay/Weir when she tries to write Sheppard/Weir, and then gets all upset about it, so there must be something complicatedly psychological going on here. ;)

Girly: With apologies to liberated women everywhere... I *do* shave. And perhaps even more freakishly, I really enjoy it. I love the way it feels (smoothness, yay!) and there's something really pamper-y about taking that time out for myself every few days. Especially because the new Venus shavers are totally non-deadly -- it would be really hard to gash yourself on them. Wheee!

My interesting story is just that my mother begged me not to start shaving when I was 12 or whenever... she was all "You will have to do it for the rest of your LIIIIIFE!" We were living in a place where most of the women didn't shave, but I was in a local swim team where there was locker-room mockage and the issue of "drag" when racing with unshaved legs.

Blogs: I like your blog! I skip things about fandoms I don't know, though.

OT3! WHEEEEE!! I was more tempted to play than in just about any other ficathon... but as ficathons and I do not play well together I let it pass by. *sniffle* But I'll write OT3 for fun. Good luck!

OMGsquee.

[perihawk.livejournal.com]

The Venus shaver is My Best Friend Ever. I haven't nicked myself or missed a spot since I got it. So Much Love.

Re: OMGsquee.

[mylittleredgirl.livejournal.com]

Indeed.

They keep coming out with new pretty colors and stuff and things that promise to be Even More Extra Special Venus Shavers!!1! to try and tempt my money away from me... *tempted*

(Dude, I'm so glad you commented, because I was starting to wonder if it was really very sad that a razor made me that happy.)

Re: OMGsquee.

[perihawk.livejournal.com]

*is all about the VenusLove with LR*

Seriously though, I sort of wish leg shaving hadn't been thought up. Because now that I've started, I really can't stop. The hair on my legs doesn't grow in blond anymore. And the pit hair just ITCHES if I don't keep it down.

So yeah, hair free.

[meyerlemon.livejournal.com]

Yes! And the above poster, with the angst about seeming Too Masculine, YES! I totally have that. Of course, I think girls have that about all kinds of things, like not being too strong/muscular, not sweating, not taking up too much physical space, making sure that everything about you is soft and smooth and always smells neutral, even though that's not actually how women are.

I remember once making out with an ex-boyfriend when I hadn't shaved for weeks- it was at the point where I'd reverted to my Secret Single Behaviors, like taking my shirt off to eat soup, and not shaving anything, and feeling absolutely revolted by his desire to touch me, because I had hairy legs and underarms and EW GROSS, but I was somehow unable to articulate this, because then he might actually notice, or something. It was quite dreadful.

The weirdest part is that I was raised by hippies who believe that everything is just great the way it is. My mom doesn't shave anything, and my dad is, oddly, a vocal supporter of hairy-legged women.

So I somehow feel slightly guilty for feeling bad about having body hair.

Which- sorry, this is super long, I'm almost done- is another thing. I don't just feel like I should shave/wax/whatever: I feel like I shouldn't actually have body hair to begin with. I have subconscious despair about the fact that, even when you shave, you can tell that hairiness is your armpit's natural state.

WHAT THE FUCK.

Also, I like your LJ. You always have interesting thoughts.

[mayhap]

Apparently, I am drawn to posts that invite me to ramble about personal hygiene. *g*

So, shaving. I think I shave my armpits every couple of months, maybe. I don't actually like them being shaved; it feels icky. This way the hair stays short and clean, and if other people catch sight of it and it bothers them, they haven't mentioned it to me.

I actually kind of like shaving my legs, with a nice bubble bath and lots of shaving cream and a sharp razor, and then they feel all touchable. I'll do it sometimes when I feel like relaxing. I don't shave my legs very often either, though, because mostly I wear jeans anyway and I can't be bothered. I used to do it much more often, but now that my skin isn't as oily as it used to be, my legs get dry.

I still resent the fact that it's a female thing, though. I was thrilled when the boys on the swim team talked about shaving their legs because hey, now they were part of the club where you had to worry about your body hair and what you were going to do with it.

[scrollgirl.livejournal.com]

Rodney: Not a virgin, but agree that he's probably never been in anything like a real relationship.

Shaving: Oh my, I guess I'm not the only one after all! I hate doing it, and only shave when absolutely necessary (eg when I need to wear a skirt or sleeveless dress). It's not really a feminist thing for me, though I do resent that women are supposed to be all hairless and babyish -- I'm just really lazy and hate taking the time and effort to shave. If I ever started dating, I'd feel pressured to shave. And I probably would, unless the guy made it clear he honestly didn't care.

[hermionesviolin.livejournal.com]

I'm a hairy-legged feminist because I'm too lazy to shave and because I truly, deeply believe I shouldn't have to shave my legs or underarms when boys don't [...] BUT I don't wear clothes that lets others see my unshaven legs and armpits because I have hair-shame and think it looks ugly!

Word.

For me, it's complicated by the fact that i don't find body hair attractive, so i find myself wishing that everyone shaved, but then of course i know that i've internalized a societal aesthetic plus our natural state is hairy but natural does not necessarily equal good, and it becomes this cycle and we get back to the fact that i'm lazy and might start shaving if i ever have a significant other but for now it's a non-issue.

I would like God to explain why facial hair seemed like a good idea.

[sweetcommunist.livejournal.com]

I would like God to explain why facial hair seemed like a good idea.

Because some bearded men are incredibly attractive? Or maybe I'm just weird.

On a different note, Hi! You go to Smith, the college that I will be attending this very fall. That's kind of fun.

[hermionesviolin.livejournal.com]

I'm rarely a fan of guys with facial hair. But i suppose there is the fact that it would be pretty boring if everyone liked the same thing.

My main complaint really is the fact that God decided dark upper lip hair and scattered chin hair would be a good idea for me, a female.

Yay Smith! Tragically, i am graduating in a few weeks, but i'm always happy to talk about my school and hope you have a wonderful time there.

[sage-theory.livejournal.com]

Rodney is completely not a virgin. I do think he has probably been in at least one real relationship, but it probably fell apart very quickly and/or was way, way less serious than he thought it was. I can see Rodney being the kind of guy who'd go too fast (wow, that was a terrible double entendre).

I also believe that Carter and McKay may have shagged pre-Atlantis because I think Rodney would have felt very frightened and Carter would've felt sympathetic and the guy's going to another galaxy with a less than 50-50 shot at returning *ever*.

I can't really see Rodney being a virgin anymore than I could see Daniel being a virgin on his wedding night. Although, canonically, we can only assume that Hammond, Teal'c, and Jack have *had* sex because they have kids. Technically you could posit that most characters, save Sam in S7, have been and still are virgins. It could be an entire military base full of *virgins*. Siler could be a virgin! Siler/Wrench - theirloveisapparentlyplatonic.

The SGC could be a nunnery!

I think we need to give the characters credit for being grownups and having gone to college (most of them). Rodney might be a first class ass at some moments, but look how many fans would go running after him like teenagers at an N'Sync concert.

So on balance? I think Rodney could have found at least one female/male either in America, Canada, or Russia who would have been willing to do the wild thang with him.

Hell, *I'd* do the wild thang with him.

Also, I think we need to make sure we don't get virgin and celibate mixed up mentally. Because I think a HELL of a lot of people at the SGC/on Atlantis are completely celibate. I think Rodney has *had* sex, he's just not having it right now.

And concerning hair:

See, the thing is, I kind of got an exemption to the whole hairy legged feminist thing.

Weird factoid about Meg: she does not in fact have underarm hair. Never grew any. Ever. And I have minimal leg hair. As in, above the knee, there's really not any to speak of.

I shave my legs because it reduces a) itchness while wearing jeans and b) helps keep me cool. But I only have to do this once a week, twice if it's winter time and I've been cold alot (cold tends to make leg hairs grow more).

I never saw it as a shame thing. I just always saw it as a maintenence/comfort thing. And I kind of like when guys shave their chest hair/pit hair/assorted body hair.

Mostly it's about Meg's very shallow need for smooth pretty surfaces. And an aversion to chest hairs popping out of the top of shirts on men. Gah. I like my men hairless enough to have something resembling androgyny.

Facial hair doesn't bother me. Some people (S4 Wesley, eg) look rather good with facial hair. My dad looks very bad without a goatee/beard.

I also have struggled with the "boys don't have to shave!" angst, but then remembered that girls don't have to register for the draft and we can kiss/hug/hold hands in public without anyone batting an eye. It doesn't bother me so much to allow and accept societal gender differences, because it's part of the good ol' Southern Belle training you get down here. But also, I figure that the hair angst and the draft thing are all symptoms of something bigger and fixing the hair issue won't be enough.

Until we have complete sexual equality in society, there will be angst.

My angst is mostly about why *we* automatically are primary care givers for children and why people are so worried about "working mothers" and not "working fathers" and why it is that we're *still* getting paid less even though right now, higher education is more women than men and girls statistically get better grades than boys and why it is that *we* have to do the work/family/career/self juggling and men don't and why the president of Harvard basically said that women are stupider in math/science areas.

Therein lies my angst. I justify shaving as a personal thing and totally don't hold it against anyone who feels the need to not shave.

Besides, feminism is in the *mind*. Not in the body hair. :)

- Meg

[wisdomeagle]

See, with Daniel, I have this instinctive reaction that of course he's not a virgin on his wedding night, and anyone who writes virgin!Daniel makes me hit the back button because, well, my Daniel is not. And I don't feel that same reluctance with Rodney. I mean, there exist (I am sure) many, many badfics where Rodney is a virgin, but I don't feel like it is an automatic ticket to badficsville the way virgin!Daniel is.

I was just about to say something stupid, then I realized I could more accurately say "This is because Rodney is my Mary Sue." This turned up in the discussion I was reading; someone said lots of fans (incorrectly) project their own virginity onto Rodney and forget that Rodney=male and thus not having the same hang-ups over sex that girls do.

So I'm inclined to think Rodney has had sex, probably as much as he possibly could... I mean, there's definitely that implication in "Brotherhood," when Shep asks if he knows what to do and he says, "Eventually," or something, though it's always possible he's posturing for Shep. But whatever. My point is that yes, I'm inclined to think that Rodney's had sex, maybe once, in his experimental stage.

I totally project my own cerebral-ness and body issues onto all my characters. *slaps wrist*

Re: hair. I don't know! I'm so interested in what other people have to say and all the different ways different girls/woman deal with it. The thing for me is... I don't mind at all how my hair feels when it's long, but fresh-shaved hair (especially my pits) hurts. And then when it starts to grow in again, it hurts worse. So shaving once is a comittment. And dude, that's like, more work than I ever want to do, shaving every day. Lazy = my middle name.

And I feel like if I shaved, it would be because society has beauty standards that say smooth=sexy and hair=gross. I mean, lots of people mentioned reasons why they shave, and I'm totally cool with that! Because for me, feminism=choice. But for me, it's very much all about what Other People Think. And I feel really uncomfortable doing anything because other people want me to or think I'd look prettier that way or whatever. If you or any of the people who like shave because they like to/like smooth skin/like the ritual/whatever were to stop shaving because they wanted to be good feminists, then I think that would be just as problematic! Because I'm pro-choice in a big way.

My angst is mostly about why *we* automatically are primary care givers for children and why people are so worried about "working mothers" and not "working fathers" and why it is that we're *still* getting paid less even though right now, higher education is more women than men and girls statistically get better grades than boys and why it is that *we* have to do the work/family/career/self juggling and men don't and why the president of Harvard basically said that women are stupider in math/science areas.

Therein lies my angst. I justify shaving as a personal thing and totally don't hold it against anyone who feels the need to not shave.

See, I'm with you! Because all those are really important things. But on the other hand, I feel like feminism is also a really personal thing. And that it's just important to question why I feel angst over my decision to leave my hair on my legs, or why my mom has her ears pierced and my dad doesn't, or why negotiating my relationship sometimes feels so much more difficult because of the multiplicity of traditionally feminine relationship styles. Because, verily, to quote a cliche, the personal is political. And the political is personal.

And I think feminism is in the mind and in the body. Because bodies are important. They're kind of the difference between men and women in the first place, and I don't really think feminism can exist without thinking about the body as a place of power/inequity/opression.

Yay verily. :)

-Ari.

[siinik.livejournal.com]

Hey. I'm usually squeamish talking about this sort of thing, but I thought what the hell.

I shave, but I've got a pretty good electric razor, and it takes about twenty seconds, so it's not like it's a big hassle or anything. But I hate to be obligated to hold up the feminine ideal thing, and I'm all lazy, so I don't wear makeup instead.

Also, I think I'm pretty much alone in this, but I'd like it if guys shaved too. I hate underarm hair on guys, it's really ugly. Dammit.

[jennixen.livejournal.com]

Yay, you go GIRLE!!!
I'm a Hair Feminist aswell...although I don't really care if men shave, I refuse to shave anyway. ;)

[jennixen.livejournal.com]

And I'm too tired because I hit the send button too early... *sighs*
I was gonna say more. About hair.
How I think that it's natural and that it's good for the body and that I don't really have BO because I wash and clean myself. ;)
And that I refuse ABSOLUTELY to shave my nether region because it HURTS and why should I?
I wash there. So, some guys thinks that it's sexy to look like a teen. I don't.

And I don't wanna shave. It's boring and it's unecessary. :)
I think the two last parts are actually the most important. I'm lazy that way. ;)

[tinpanalley.livejournal.com]

Just adding my $0.02!

To shave or not shave...

I personally choose to shave, but I've never felt like I NEEDED to shave simply to keep society at bay. I shave because I like the ritual and the feel of clean, smooth skin.

In fact, I remember the first time I shaved, I was about thirteen. My mom supervised the whole event just to make sure I did it correctly and didn't cut myself. But that night, I just kept rubbing my legs together like a cricket. I just loved the way my skin felt and I still do!

So, when I shave, I do it for me. But, I also completely support a woman's choice to not shave. To me, it's all about doing what makes you feel the most comfortable!

[deaver.livejournal.com]

Came here via Meyerlemon...

Interesting discussion going on regarding the shave/no shave issue. Or I should probably say hair/no hair issue more acurately. I am one of those high-pain tolerance kind of women who actually waxes. I wax lower legs (upper legs are mostly hairless... odd, I know), bikini and upper lip. I shave my armpits, because waxing there is pain beyond even my tolerance. I also tweeze my eyebrows.

I don't think I do it to live up to some standard of beauty, or some standard of what women are supposed to look like. I do my hair removal routine mostly because I like the way I feel hairless. I feel more areodymanic when I swim with no hair, I like the feel of my sheets against my skin without the barrier of hair, etc.. Not to say that there isn't a component of vanity involved here. I definately feel more appealing hairless. Especially when it comes to the upper lip and eyebrow areas, because without waxing and or/plucking regularly I tend to look like Bert from Sesame Street with a full beard. So that hair removal does fall into the vanity thing. I prefer to not look like a muppet.

I don't think it's just women who feel the pressure to deal with their body hair in certain ways, though. I think men find just as much pressure. My brother shaves his chest regularly, and spends hours grooming his facial hair, in an effort to impress the women in his life. My ex-boyfriend, who couldn't grow a mustache, beard or chest hair to save his life, was always making comments about how women couldn't possibly be attracted to him because he wasn't manly enough. Their body hair societal pressure is just as strong it's just got a different focus from womens pressure.

So, I wax, and pluck, and tweeze, and shave. And I am incredibly comfortable with myself and what I look like, and how I can use my body. I don't care if no one ever sees my legs or bikini line, I don't do this for anyone but me. It has taken many years for me to enjoy who I am, exactly as I am now, and I plan on keeping in that way.

[dremiel.livejournal.com]

Oh Please. Rodney is not a virgin. Rodney is what mid-thirties?

He slept with a friend in H.S., someone who was also smart and snarky and awkward. They danced around it for a long time - mostly making fun of other couples. After deciding it would be rational and logical and all they had sex a couple of times. It was okay. Then they treated each other pretty badly because god forbid they show affection. Then they had sex a couple more times without really talking about it, ever. Oddly, the sex was better then.

He dated some, but not too successfully, in college (got laid but didn't really have a steady). Had at least one "serious" relationship in grad school. Had another that he totally blew with stress/egomania/competitiveness while finishing his dissertation and concluded that he didn't need the emotional distress of a long-term thing. Just too much work.

He's wrong, of course, he's desperate for love and acceptance but has convinced himself that nobody would love him if they really knew him. So he drives them off first. It's all about self-protection.

Not that I lived that or anything *g*

[kiaforrest.livejournal.com]

I haven't shaved my legs in ten years. I wear skirts (not short but that's a modesty issue not "oh I'm hairy and can't" ) I wear shorts @ home IN the house, but I wouldn't wear them outside the house shaved either.

In those 10 years the ONLY comment ever made were 4 high school gals behind me in Wal Mart. I was discreetly nursing the baby, jiggling keys for the toddler and laughing at the pre schooler reading letters off the National Enquirer while keeping a 5, 7 and 9 year old "right next to me". One of the gals giggled about my legs and the other expressed disgust for my Obvious lack of time to take care of myself and how she was never going to allow children to suck her dry... blah blah blah.

Being a non-shy person (and stuck in a Wal Mart line that moved slower than this spring waiting on Season 2 of BSG) I finished nursing the baby listening to the wisdom of 17 and up before turning with a laugh as I burped the baby to say, "I take excellent care of myself. When I have 20 minutes to indulge myself I read a book, I have a mug of tea, I take a walk with the children and appreciate that there is more to life than what other people think I should look like." I thought they were going to die of embarrassment but not a child replied or had a coherent thing to say. It was Fine to discuss me loudly and impersonally but Not to interact with me. They moved to another line - go figure! >grin<.

There are so many Nice things to do with 20 minutes - leg shaving just isn't worth the time to me BUT I do love to paint my nails and enjoy earrings that dangle. The hairs are soft, over the years, the darkness fades and now that I'm getting 'old' (I'm over 40) - hormones are producing less hair! I'm far from being a feminist I guess so I probably fall in the 'natural' category.

You can have it all - just not all at once. Choking on it all is optional.