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wisdomeagleI went to bed super early last night, as soon as I got back from tutoring, so at eight. Then I woke up at three in the morning to watch TOS. Ohhh, my God, I love Spock. And I hate Kirk. And Kirk/Spock is so cute. And canon. Ohhh, teh_cute. *is Trekkie* *is scared*
Okay, so Christian Scriptures? Is driving me insane. Why wasn't everyone introduced to the historical critical method in Sunday school the way I did OMG?
Speaking of Sunday school, which segues to Jeane, which segues to Mrs. A... I dreamt about her last night.. or about her son, more accurately, and I think I couldn't wake up this morning in part because I was trying to get to the part of the dream where I actually got to see her.
I'm debating whether or not to sign up for the Fresley ficathon here. On the one hand, mmm, Fresley, on the other hand... want dark!Fresley with a side of smut. And S4 is my favorite season for Fresley. So. Ponder, ponder.
I have assignments for the fluffython and the Giles ficathon. Both of them look doable, though the Giles one will be easier. Still, even I should be able to grind out 500 words of fluff.
Thinking about the Jossverse, femslash, and character identification...
[spoilers through "NFA," although vague past "Shells"]
So, first, I was thinking about femslash, because I signed up for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
femslash05 and realized that I didn't want NC-17 fic. And I was like, "Huh. That's weird, and slightly scary, what with the gayness and everything." And I pondered why it was that for most if not all of the pairings I chose, NC-17 just wasn't working. And what I came up with was that most of them are too cute for sex. I only see the pairings as fluff. Good fluff, and sweet, and I can identify with it, but it's just... I don't see the passion, the chemistry. And by chemistry, I mean the sense that when these two characters are in the same room, something is going to explode. And the thing is, that's not necessarily in the love-hate sense. Anyhow, I was thinking about the Jossverse and having real difficulty finding f/f pairings of an archetype that I found hot in that sense. Just looking through my fic as listed in the memories, and I see almost no femslash I wrote that I consider sexy. The Sam/blonde!Weir (brunette!Weir would be just as sexy, but I haven't written it yet), I suppose, comes the closest.
So I was trying to figure out what it is that makes it click for me. See, I like fic with issues and characters who aren't perfect, but I don't really like issues like Faith has issues. I mean, I like Faith/Buffy, don't get me wrong, I think it's canon, and I think it's hot in a purely aesthetic way, but it's just not the kink I'm looking for. It's the realism thing, I think. I want characters who are real to me, with whom I can really empathize. Buffy? So different from me I don't really even get her. Ditto Faith, and Cordy, and Anya, and Lilah, and Dawn to some extent. They're just so totally unlike me. They're strong, but strong in a different way.
Then there's characters like Fred and Willow and Tara who are shy bordering on passive-aggressive, who use cuteness and sweetness and defense mechanisms, who are really adorably cute together, but it's cute, not sexy. It's all gliding and melting and magic=sex metaphors, and not the hotness, you know? Willow and Fred both could be the hotness, but they need more darkness. And there's really not any f/f pairings I can think of that (in my mind) lend themselves to that.
Lately I've been finding het a lot hotter than slash, and it's just that I'm finding the right kinds of pairings where the sexual tension is a lot stronger, which I guess is 'cos I'm mostly playing in the Jossverse.
See, I miss my tomboys (though that's really a cultural category that doesn't apply to lots of these women...), my Aeryn and my Beka and my Sam and heck, Kaylee and Zoe and Weir. Not that Buffy isn't great and a strong woman in her own right, but she's all, boys and clothes and shopping. Which I can't really identify with, yanno? And Faith's the same. Different angle, but same problem.
Dammit, I want crossover sex now. Something where they'd be forced to assert themselves enough to have really steamy sex. Or maybe steamy isn't even the right word. Uninhibited sex. Issues!sex.
Anyhow, so on a similar note, I realize that when I watch a show or read a book, I totally latch onto something, a thread that I follow through the whole canon. For Buffy, the first time through, it was totally Willow. It was to some extent identification -- because I do identify with Willow -- but I feel I'm probably more similar to Tara. So it's partially identification, but it's also something intangible, something like, "I like Willow, dammit." On Angel, it probably started as Doyle, and then became Wesley. It was definitely Wesley by the time S3 rolled around. I see the whole canon through Wesley-colored glasses.
I would like for my Angel-watching to center around Fred. But Fred doesn't have a coherent point of view, because she's used as a character device from "Billy" onwards, and only very occasionally do we get to have any idea what's going on in her head. The S5 Fresley came out of nowhere because we have no idea who Fred is, what she feels or thinks on a regular basis. I think a coherent picture of Fred can be developed, but it's not on the surface in canon. And that annoys me, although Fred herself does not.
I don't like the Illyria arc for that reason. As if they had exhausted Fred's potential! Fred has been object for almost three seasons, with only occasional bursts of agency, and now Fred-as-agent is entirely absent. The remnants of Fred are entirely there for the other characters (including Illyria) to emote about. The prevalence of Illyria in fandom annoys me. Sure, I like It. But I like Fred, too, and when I want Fred-fic, I want Fred-fic, not Illyria-in-Fred's-body fic. *twitch*
I went and borrowed a bunch of books from the library for my senior thesis... now, I just need to start reading them.
Does anyone by some wondrous coincidence have the song "Mary Magdalene" by Me'Shell Ndegecello? If so, would love you forever. It sounds like a totally kick-ass song.
Okay, so Christian Scriptures? Is driving me insane. Why wasn't everyone introduced to the historical critical method in Sunday school the way I did OMG?
Speaking of Sunday school, which segues to Jeane, which segues to Mrs. A... I dreamt about her last night.. or about her son, more accurately, and I think I couldn't wake up this morning in part because I was trying to get to the part of the dream where I actually got to see her.
I'm debating whether or not to sign up for the Fresley ficathon here. On the one hand, mmm, Fresley, on the other hand... want dark!Fresley with a side of smut. And S4 is my favorite season for Fresley. So. Ponder, ponder.
I have assignments for the fluffython and the Giles ficathon. Both of them look doable, though the Giles one will be easier. Still, even I should be able to grind out 500 words of fluff.
Thinking about the Jossverse, femslash, and character identification...
[spoilers through "NFA," although vague past "Shells"]
So, first, I was thinking about femslash, because I signed up for
femslash05 and realized that I didn't want NC-17 fic. And I was like, "Huh. That's weird, and slightly scary, what with the gayness and everything." And I pondered why it was that for most if not all of the pairings I chose, NC-17 just wasn't working. And what I came up with was that most of them are too cute for sex. I only see the pairings as fluff. Good fluff, and sweet, and I can identify with it, but it's just... I don't see the passion, the chemistry. And by chemistry, I mean the sense that when these two characters are in the same room, something is going to explode. And the thing is, that's not necessarily in the love-hate sense. Anyhow, I was thinking about the Jossverse and having real difficulty finding f/f pairings of an archetype that I found hot in that sense. Just looking through my fic as listed in the memories, and I see almost no femslash I wrote that I consider sexy. The Sam/blonde!Weir (brunette!Weir would be just as sexy, but I haven't written it yet), I suppose, comes the closest.So I was trying to figure out what it is that makes it click for me. See, I like fic with issues and characters who aren't perfect, but I don't really like issues like Faith has issues. I mean, I like Faith/Buffy, don't get me wrong, I think it's canon, and I think it's hot in a purely aesthetic way, but it's just not the kink I'm looking for. It's the realism thing, I think. I want characters who are real to me, with whom I can really empathize. Buffy? So different from me I don't really even get her. Ditto Faith, and Cordy, and Anya, and Lilah, and Dawn to some extent. They're just so totally unlike me. They're strong, but strong in a different way.
Then there's characters like Fred and Willow and Tara who are shy bordering on passive-aggressive, who use cuteness and sweetness and defense mechanisms, who are really adorably cute together, but it's cute, not sexy. It's all gliding and melting and magic=sex metaphors, and not the hotness, you know? Willow and Fred both could be the hotness, but they need more darkness. And there's really not any f/f pairings I can think of that (in my mind) lend themselves to that.
Lately I've been finding het a lot hotter than slash, and it's just that I'm finding the right kinds of pairings where the sexual tension is a lot stronger, which I guess is 'cos I'm mostly playing in the Jossverse.
See, I miss my tomboys (though that's really a cultural category that doesn't apply to lots of these women...), my Aeryn and my Beka and my Sam and heck, Kaylee and Zoe and Weir. Not that Buffy isn't great and a strong woman in her own right, but she's all, boys and clothes and shopping. Which I can't really identify with, yanno? And Faith's the same. Different angle, but same problem.
Dammit, I want crossover sex now. Something where they'd be forced to assert themselves enough to have really steamy sex. Or maybe steamy isn't even the right word. Uninhibited sex. Issues!sex.
Anyhow, so on a similar note, I realize that when I watch a show or read a book, I totally latch onto something, a thread that I follow through the whole canon. For Buffy, the first time through, it was totally Willow. It was to some extent identification -- because I do identify with Willow -- but I feel I'm probably more similar to Tara. So it's partially identification, but it's also something intangible, something like, "I like Willow, dammit." On Angel, it probably started as Doyle, and then became Wesley. It was definitely Wesley by the time S3 rolled around. I see the whole canon through Wesley-colored glasses.
I would like for my Angel-watching to center around Fred. But Fred doesn't have a coherent point of view, because she's used as a character device from "Billy" onwards, and only very occasionally do we get to have any idea what's going on in her head. The S5 Fresley came out of nowhere because we have no idea who Fred is, what she feels or thinks on a regular basis. I think a coherent picture of Fred can be developed, but it's not on the surface in canon. And that annoys me, although Fred herself does not.
I don't like the Illyria arc for that reason. As if they had exhausted Fred's potential! Fred has been object for almost three seasons, with only occasional bursts of agency, and now Fred-as-agent is entirely absent. The remnants of Fred are entirely there for the other characters (including Illyria) to emote about. The prevalence of Illyria in fandom annoys me. Sure, I like It. But I like Fred, too, and when I want Fred-fic, I want Fred-fic, not Illyria-in-Fred's-body fic. *twitch*
I went and borrowed a bunch of books from the library for my senior thesis... now, I just need to start reading them.
Does anyone by some wondrous coincidence have the song "Mary Magdalene" by Me'Shell Ndegecello? If so, would love you forever. It sounds like a totally kick-ass song.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-01-19 05:58 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-01-19 06:07 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-01-19 06:14 am (UTC)Wanna come poke now? We'll be up 'til around 2ish... XD <3333333
(no subject)
Date: 2005-01-19 07:00 am (UTC)...then we watched Maria-sama, where there's vaguely-antagonistic-definitely-not-happy-fluffy--&-oh-so-HOT YoukoxSei. OTPOTPOTP *drooool.*
Um, point? ....there's not much better dynamics, but when there are they OTP. come over to animedom. XD
i iz teh have no brainal capacity. XD XD XD (see ya tomorrow!)
(no subject)
Date: 2005-02-02 12:06 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-02-02 01:35 am (UTC)[by the way, thanks for linking to this and friending me back. I appreciate it.]
(no subject)
Date: 2005-02-02 12:37 am (UTC)See, I miss my tomboys (though that's really a cultural category that doesn't apply to lots of these women...), my Aeryn and my Beka and my Sam and heck, Kaylee and Zoe and Weir. Not that Buffy isn't great and a strong woman in her own right, but she's all, boys and clothes and shopping. Which I can't really identify with, yanno? And Faith's the same. Different angle, but same problem.
I'm wondering if you're holding f/f to a different standard than that to which m/m is generally held. It reads to me like you don't really want NC-17 f/f unless you feel like you can believe the characters are dykes -- at least for the length of the story. Whereas most writers and readers of m/m don't really think that the boys are gay or (more importantly?) really want them to be.
I've struggled with this, too. I wrote a Buffy/Tara/Willow piece where I ended up taking all the sex out of it because Buffy was screaming "I'm straight! Get me outta here!" Now, I'm very canon-oriented, and I don't slash anybody unless I can really, really buy it from a canon perspective. But I've noticed a number of people talking puzzledly/problematically about f/f, saying they "don't buy it" for whatever reason, and/or saying they have higher standards for it, or higher standards for female characters generally. I wonder if this is part of that, or part of something more sinister: men are allowed to be equal-opportunity queer sluts, but women are just barely offered a safe, hand-holdy whiff of bisexuality?
Just guessing. I'm queer myself, BTW.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-02-02 01:56 am (UTC)It reads to me like you don't really want NC-17 f/f unless you feel like you can believe the characters are dykes
I'm not sure if you're using "dyke" here to mean "lesbian" or to mean "butch lesbian"... if it's the former, well, I firmly believe that everyone in the Jossverse is bisexual. OTOH, I do tend to be more physically attracted to women who are butch in mannerism (tho' not neccessarily in appearance), hence my love of tomboys. Tara, Fred, and Willow are just so dainty...
And I think another thing is the way their canon sexualities have been rendered so metaphorical. Like the W/T magic=sex connection, or the Zhaan/Stark Unity thing. It detaches the emotional relationship from a stark, gritty, physical, smutty relationship, which makes it harder for me at least to think about them as sexual.
I wonder if this is part of that, or part of something more sinister: men are allowed to be equal-opportunity queer sluts, but women are just barely offered a safe, hand-holdy whiff of bisexuality?
Hmm, that's a good question. I think it relates back to the larger issues that have been talked about lately about female characters and specifically about them being allowed to have a range of relationships with a range of people. I don't think men very often get canon relationships that are equivalent to girly best friends relationships like, oh, Buffy+Willow, but the male equivalent would be, in general terms, "male warrior bonding" -- John+D'Argo, say. And while there's plenty of John/D'Argo subtext, their relationship doesn't fascinate me on any level, and I probably wouldn't find fic about them especially sexy. (But I think John/Scorpius is hot as hell -- it's the tension thing.)
Eh, I've gone and rambled about it again. I hope some of it made sense.