National Coming Out Day:
Oct. 11th, 2004 09:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wisdomeagleI must go to bed by midnight. My goal is ten. Eleven would be a reasonable compromise. Today was an awful day. This is an awful week. An awful month. A terrible semester, and a year when I have to make decisions that will affect everyone I care about and determine the rest of my life.
So I'm going to continue not to think about that, and move right alone to... National Coming Out Day, and my yearly announcement that I am Secretly Bisexual.
I've known I was gay since I was like, twelve. Never really thought I was straight. Did have crushes on little boys all through elementary school, but then went heels over head madly in love with Mrs. A and Jeane when I was twelve. I mean, this was deep down, incredible, never felt anything like it love. Started self-identifying as lesbian at thirteen, came out for the first time at fourteen. Told my eighth grade English teacher, my friend Josh,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
venusinrapture, and then, in rapid succession, the entire eighth grade class.
I wouldn't recommend that last one.
Eventually I told my parents, too.
So, after an absolutely miserable year of being out but still single, I left high school to go to a women's college and metnoreverchaste and fell in love, yay. Lost virginity at sixteen. Dated Sumita for awhile.
Currently in love with and datinggvambat. :)
The end. But also, the part where I'm secretly bisexual? And actually... I think if I were in a different situation, if I were around guys sometimes, I'm totally capable of falling for them. There was, after all, the Mysterious Male Creature, object of my first ever requited crush. Not to mention all the male celebs and fictional characters I'm heels over head for. I'm just not around enough testosterone for it to be an important part of my life.
Like whoa.
I'm all drippy icky sick... this cold. will not. go away. *kills it dead*
So I'm going to continue not to think about that, and move right alone to... National Coming Out Day, and my yearly announcement that I am Secretly Bisexual.
I've known I was gay since I was like, twelve. Never really thought I was straight. Did have crushes on little boys all through elementary school, but then went heels over head madly in love with Mrs. A and Jeane when I was twelve. I mean, this was deep down, incredible, never felt anything like it love. Started self-identifying as lesbian at thirteen, came out for the first time at fourteen. Told my eighth grade English teacher, my friend Josh,
venusinrapture, and then, in rapid succession, the entire eighth grade class.I wouldn't recommend that last one.
Eventually I told my parents, too.
So, after an absolutely miserable year of being out but still single, I left high school to go to a women's college and met
noreverchaste and fell in love, yay. Lost virginity at sixteen. Dated Sumita for awhile.Currently in love with and dating
gvambat. :)The end. But also, the part where I'm secretly bisexual? And actually... I think if I were in a different situation, if I were around guys sometimes, I'm totally capable of falling for them. There was, after all, the Mysterious Male Creature, object of my first ever requited crush. Not to mention all the male celebs and fictional characters I'm heels over head for. I'm just not around enough testosterone for it to be an important part of my life.
Like whoa.
I'm all drippy icky sick... this cold. will not. go away. *kills it dead*
(no subject)
Date: 2004-10-12 02:13 am (UTC)I have to admit, when I read your entry, I thought "now that's a switch!"... but then I realized that maybe not so much. One of my best online friends identifies herself as bi and finds it pretty hard to get along in the world that way. The men she meets either think it's a free ticket to a threesome or that she can't possibly ever be faithful... and the women she meets are disdainful of her not being a tried and true lesbian and want nothing to do with her. Because of this, she's still looking for that special someone. *sigh*
BTW, she also takes me to task regularly when I get too self-absorbed or when I'm not thinking outside of the stereotypes. She's good that way. :)
(no subject)
Date: 2004-10-12 05:12 pm (UTC)Heh... it *is* a bit odd. I don't repress my bisexual leanings 'cos of the stereotypes... or maybe I do. It's just always been important to me for lots of reasons, political and social, to ID as lesbian. So I do. Most of the time. ;)
(no subject)
Date: 2004-10-12 02:29 am (UTC)And hey, we're all kind of on a sliding scale of bisexuality anyway... right?
(but then, I spent my university years in a co-ed fraternity which sort of identified as a group as "sexually opportunistic", so take my theories on sexuality with some salt, there...)
(no subject)
Date: 2004-10-12 05:13 pm (UTC)Perfect icon for this comment, btw. :p
(no subject)
Date: 2004-10-12 02:32 am (UTC)Believe it or not, I didn't even know I could be both till I turned 40. Have always loved women. Now I get to admit it.
It does get better.
I can tell you that.
You're very cool.
Please write more.
;)
(no subject)
Date: 2004-10-12 05:13 pm (UTC)Thanks hon.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-10-12 05:22 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-10-12 02:51 am (UTC)I'm starting to feel this, too. :P
Liked your fun gay post. I've self-identified as bisexual since I was 18 or so, but right now, more than anything, I'm identifying as 'confused and unsettled'... :(
(no subject)
Date: 2004-10-12 05:14 pm (UTC)aww... unsettled isn't good! Although a little bit of confusion means you aren't too set in your ways, I suppose.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-10-12 04:15 am (UTC)As the token straight chick replying, ;-> let me say how fucking awsome you are for not having been afraid--at the age of 12, no less!--of knowing who you are and who you wanted to love. And especially for coming out to your grade 8 class, though I gather that didn't go as well as planned.
Get well,
Leah
(no subject)
Date: 2004-10-12 05:16 pm (UTC)The older I get, the more I think coming out to my eighth grade class wasn't brave, just incredibly stupid. And it wasn't exactly intentional... but that's a story for another time, like three days after never. *twitch*
Thanks so much.. and glad you like the icon. :p
-Ari
(no subject)
Date: 2004-10-12 04:16 am (UTC)Leah
(no subject)
Date: 2004-10-12 04:53 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-10-12 05:17 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-10-12 05:25 pm (UTC)But it's okay, we won't tell anyone about your super sekrit bisexuality. Although, I think your Daniel!lurve is strong indicator that given high quality testosterone, you too might swoon. I think that's why I've never had a girlfriend, per se. Because there weren't enough very close females in my life for me to develop that. And if I were to be around lots of other like minded women, I too might have a girlfriend.
Probably to the chagrin of The Boy...but this is a whole other topic.
Although, honestly, I'm not sure I believe that anyone is entirely straight or entirely gay. Just because...well...because.
*attacks cold viciously*
Go away or I will taunt you a second time!
(The cold, not you. I would never taunt the Ari.)
BTW, squee for Sunday starting PK Wars on Scifi!!!
Also, umm, why is everyone using their Daniel and McKay icons? Are we trying to show our testosterone love solidarity by displaying images of the most yummilicious of the male species? Maybe...
- Meg
(no subject)
Date: 2004-10-12 05:33 pm (UTC)I think it's that high school guys are just gross. And the guys I was vaguely interested in in middle/high school were way too immature to date.
So I wasn't born gay. I just turned out that way 'cos I spent my formative years in the middle of the big vagina of gayness that is PEG.
Although I was gay before that. It's just, I might've been turned straight by the likes of McKay and Daniel and Harper and Logan Cale and.... *wibbles off*
PK WARS. SUNDAY. *iz ded*
Well, I do have female icons, too...
Date: 2004-10-12 08:04 pm (UTC)Leah