gah geh gih goh guh gyh

[wisdomeagle]

guh. (is my new favorite word. I think I stole it from sage_theory. It's quite useful.)

I need a keeper. Specifically, one who will tell me that drinking cherry coke at 8:30 is a crap idea. Okay. I don't understand this. One cup of caffeine at lunch. Hour-long nap. One cup of caffeine at 8:30. Inability to sleep nine hours later. It can't just be the caffeine. Clearly, my sleep schedule is, one again, per usual, as expected, at least 24 hours off.

For no reason. Don't kid yourself. I don't actually do all the writing I bitch about while I pull these all-nighters. I just bitch.

I'm fucking exhausted. I can't fucking sleep. I cannot. fucking. sleep. I will be exhausted in class tomorrow and probably incapable of writing a single fucking sentence of my term papers. But that's okay, 'cause... oh, wait, it's not okay.

I am not okay. I am tired. I am stressed. I am not so slowly going insane. I need to do laundry. I need to... gah.


One year ago today, edited:
So besides my increasing ability to scare myself with my complete lack of sanity, I'm also torturing myself in the following ways: calling my mother and staying on the line until I'm upset. Procrastinating on papers and then accusing myself of stupidity and criminal negligence. Staying up late. Inventing new things to worry about where there were no worries before. Getting involved with people who probably aren't the healthiest for me to be involved with. Attempting to download lots of music from Kazaa, presumably to provide myself with one more thing to frustrate me. Not writing term papers. Listening to Christmas carols in the vain hope that they will cheer me up. Failing to do anything related to May Term, so I can stress about it for the remainder of the semester. Tearing apart my split ends. Thinking about my stupid cousin who got himself evicted from his mom's house and wondering if my parents would do that to me. Taking too many naps. Leaving tampons in for too long to see if I can give myself TSS (no, I'm not really trying to get sick. I'm just lazy and negligent.) Being a caffeine addict. Not exercising. Not following Very Good Advice when it is offered to me.

So you see? I could be doing worse.

Apologies. My life truly is this pathetic 90% of the time. Except over the summer, when it's simply boring.

I read Out of Season by Anna today. Gah. The girl. Can. Write. I like the first half slightly better, I think, but seriously. Takes every knife-jabbing, heart-wrenching, angsty-slashy-wonderful moment in Shades of Grey and twists the knife. Gah. *dies of angsty joy*

Comments

word steal-age

[sage-theory.livejournal.com]

I gakked the word "guh" from thete1 and it would be interesting to see where she got the word "guh" from.

Hmm...

The etymology of the word "guh"

I almost said entomology. Bugs. Guh.

I get the entire bad sleep schedule/breaking down thing. It's November and eight days until Thanksgiving.

You're talking in coherent sentences and remember your name. You are officially was ahead of me.

Funny how I'm suffering from insomnia too.

Yeah, and "Out of Season"...*GUH*. Capital *GUH*. Have you read "No Man Is Born An Angler". Gawd almighty it hurts so good. Actually, good J/D fic actually is soothing to me.

- Meg

Re: word steal-age

[wisdomeagle]

You're talking in coherent sentences

If one counts "ohfuckIhatemyselfandwanttodie" as a coherent sentence, I guess. so.

Have you read "No Man Is Born An Angler".

I think I have, but it's probably time for a re-read. I don't remember it very well.

Actually, good J/D fic actually is soothing to me.

Yep. Me too. Good fic, generally. It makes the world a less stressed place.

[gvambat.livejournal.com]

(((((((((Ari))))))))))

Love you.

[wisdomeagle]

(((((((gavmbat)))))))

Love you too.