"and slivers of God's shattered truth"
Nov. 9th, 2003 03:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wisdomeagletitle quote is from "And a God Descended" by Dar Williams.
Heartbreaking day. Discovered that the female ministerperson is not perfect. Back-up unsexy ride to church felt like gossiping, and was informed that the reason the ministerpeople had left was in large part because the female ministerperson had worn out her welcome.
Also realized how very backstage I was in their lives. It was mostly as a result of being an outsider at St. John's, I guess, and being so young and such a Yank and in so many ways different from everyone else. I don't think I often stop to consider how lucky I was to get them as backstage as I did. Maybe I knew them better than many other people did. Maybe I just got to see a different side of them, no less real. But for whatever reason, my perception of them is hopelessly and forever skewed.
That doesn't mean I miss them any less though. I just... I hate it when my idols are knocked down. I hate loving older people like this. I've been doing in for years and years and years and it has never once turned out to be a good idea in the long run but dammit, it's the way I'm wired.
*sighs*
Heartbreaking day. Discovered that the female ministerperson is not perfect. Back-up unsexy ride to church felt like gossiping, and was informed that the reason the ministerpeople had left was in large part because the female ministerperson had worn out her welcome.
Also realized how very backstage I was in their lives. It was mostly as a result of being an outsider at St. John's, I guess, and being so young and such a Yank and in so many ways different from everyone else. I don't think I often stop to consider how lucky I was to get them as backstage as I did. Maybe I knew them better than many other people did. Maybe I just got to see a different side of them, no less real. But for whatever reason, my perception of them is hopelessly and forever skewed.
That doesn't mean I miss them any less though. I just... I hate it when my idols are knocked down. I hate loving older people like this. I've been doing in for years and years and years and it has never once turned out to be a good idea in the long run but dammit, it's the way I'm wired.
*sighs*
