mourning//accepting what is

[wisdomeagle]

Every few days I see a post about the way that LJ and DW are fallow these days. There are still people hanging out here, of course, and I've still got people to play with, but way fewer than back in 2005, which was, for me, the heyday of my fannishness.

I haven't really moved on fannishly. I don't own a tv and I don't have internet in my apartment, so I haven't watched... I think the most current tv I've seen is one episode of Fringe and one of Community when I stayed with sk8eeyore and her husband two years ago.

I almost never see movies in the theatre anyhow, and if I've seen anything since the year of nu!Trek and HP 6, I don't remember it.

I don't read comics.

Heck, I loved Hunger Games but haven't read later books in the series.

I'm not a fan the way I was in 2005. And that's okay. Has to be, because it is.

Tumblr is an epic timesuck and I'm using it mostly to follow social justice things and look for pretties, and I know that once I'm back at work I'll have to not-tumblr at all. Which is fine.

I think, honestly, at this stage in my life I'm most engaged on Facebook. And that's weird to me. Facebook is for real life meatspace, and it's weird to feel like I have meat friends who are interested in what I am, but I'm having conversations on FB more regularly than I am in any other social medium.

And that just is. Moving on.

I've still got LJ/DW in priority position among my tabs -- I still read them every day -- I'm still debating doing Yuletide this year. And I just pulled up femslash12 to take another look to see if maybe...

And the other thing is, I haven't made new friends on any social media for a long time. I think about my closest friends, the people I consider the sibs-of-my-heart, and I've known them all for years, going on a decade. I'm not meeting new people, and that's okay. I don't feel like I have the energy to find new people and do the kind of engaging with them that's required for friendship.

And that's okay.

(I'm having ~feelings~ about all sorts of things, one of which is, I think the internets is my best bet for finding a personfriend*, but I definitely don't have the energy to seek one out, and the people I already know, while you're all lovely, are basically ruled out on account of we've known each other for at least 3 years and if it hasn't happened yet I don't think it's gonna.)

Comments

[raedbard]

All of this. ♥

It worries me quite a lot, all this, but I'm in the same space as you and, yes, it's okay. (I never have the energy to maintain more than five close friendships at any one time, anyway. Sigh.)

[wisdomeagle]

I mean, I technically have twelve on my List (... because I am one of those people who keeps a list of their closest friends apparently), but I'm not in regular heartcontact with more than 3 or 4 of those at once...

>but I'm in the same space as you and, yes, it's okay.

Yes.

♥