caffeine diary

four things still make a post, right?

Wed, 05 Dec 2018 21:41:12 GMT

a) wow who knew that this icon would be appropriate ever again (besides people with good pattern recognition skills)? Or, I am glad that this is one of my 9000 icons that DW randomly selected to keep active when paid time ran out however long ago that was.

2) as tumblr crashes and burns there are a bunch of folks on my dash saying "ahahah DW what is that who's ever heard of that, I want my shitposts and not that boring longform text-based stuff" and I feel weirdly defensive despite having not used DW actively in... a super long time, but like dude, that's my home y'all are talking shit about.

iii) then again when I come on this site and read the thing I am stubbornly gonna call my flist, sorry, it's full of y'all being Adults with Adult responsibilities and children and illness and marriage and I feel... unfinished? prolly mostly nostalgic for the LJ/DW years of my life, age 16-21 or so, and those days when I was in fandom. I've been pointlessly nostalgic about this for years without actually returning to fandom although I know it's still here, but I'm not still here.

δ) innnn happier news: I wrote 100,000 words this November for NaNo, I am on pace to read 200 books this year (hmu privately for a link to my GR account, as it's connected to my wallet name -- I don't really post reviews, but if you're curious you can see what I'm reading -- mostly YA and MG, to no one's surprise), and I am on a 484 day streak on Duolingo (French).

...I almost instinctively flocked this but there is absolutely nothing personally identifiable in it so.

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chocolateboxcomm

Fri, 01 Jan 2016 10:32:49 GMT

Dear chocolatier,

Thank you so much for writing or drawing for me!

I requested a wide variety of pairings. I'm offering a handful of prompts for each of them, but feel free to mix and match (or to ignore). They're meant to inspire, not to limit. Feel free to visit #dear author: i am delightfully bizarre for past letters.

A list of things I like: AUs (mundane, canon divergence, or otherwise), bdsm, crossovers, darkness, existential angst, fluff, glitter, hair, intertextuality, joy, kidfic, lemon (take it in what sense thou wilt), master/slave, noncon, open relationships, petplay, queerness, roadtrips, sonnets, trivia, underage, Valentines Day, winter, x-rated fic, yesterday, zoos.

Do not want: Scat, sounding.

( requests in the Buffyverse, Harry Potter, Kushiel's Legacy, and Stargate SG-1 )

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Original fic prompts

Thu, 31 Dec 2015 20:23:10 GMT

No promises at all, but I'd like to try writing things, maybe? As usual wanting to try to ring in new year doing what I love/want to spend rest of year doing.

Please prompt [pairing,(optionally) setting/genre, kink or trope, (optionally) brief prompt].

E.g., Evil Witch/Princess, fairy tale, non-con

Sister/Brother, steampunk, bondage with unusual materials

Spaceship captain father/daughter, pretending to be married

Theoretically will try to write any gender combo, almost any kinks (anything except sounding and scat), any genre. In actuality who even knows.

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culture created Tuesday

Tue, 15 Sep 2015 06:29:28 GMT

Finished making the caramel apple blondie cheesecake I was working on last week. It was delicious; I ate the last slice for breakfast today (like a grownup.)

Made peach pie, currently cooling.

Regular Thursday worship reminder email.

Conducted straw poll and counted votes at congregational meeting Sunday.

Had lots of ideas for writing and vidding, none of which I implemented.

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Culture created and consumed Wednesday

Thu, 10 Sep 2015 04:01:02 GMT

Food!

PUMPKIN SPICE EVERYTHING season continues.

My roommate Kimmy discovered awhile ago recipes for no-churn ice cream, using whipping cream & sweetened condensed milk, and I had leftover pumpkin from last week's cookies, so I made pumpkin ice cream.

I had bananas that were just at the falling-out-of-skin stage, so I made two loaves of banana bread. There's still a tiny bit left.

I made not-Key lime pie. There is not even a little bit of that left. Housemate suggested I use pâte sucrée instead of regular pie crust next time. (I'm not a fan of any kind of cookie crumb crust, so I just made a standard crust for the lime pie.) Filling was A++ though.

In the middle of making caramel apple Blondie cheesecake. Blondie smells awesome; it and caramel are cooling. I also made fake Cool Whip, since I totally failed to notice at the store that recipe called for it, and definitely not something I normally have in the house. So that's in the fridge.

Worship: regular weekly email, and was lay reader on Sunday.

+

I am watching Glee, even though I 100% for sure know it starts sucking and *will* break my heart. But meanwhile I'm having feelings.

Also I have a new car. (Old one was totaled in an accident a couple months ago.) She is a white 2012 Nissan Versa, and her name is Vivien.

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[vidpost] "Untouchable Face" Jesus Christ Superstar [Jesus/Judas, Jesus/Magdalene]

Sat, 04 Apr 2015 23:51:50 GMT

Title: "Untouchable Face"
Video source: Jesus Christ Superstar. Dir. Gale Edwards. By Tim Rice and Andrew Lloyd Weber. Perf. Glenn Carter, Jerome Pradon and Renee Castle. Universal Pictures Visual Programming, 2000. DVD.
Audio Source: DiFranco, Ani. "Untouchable Face." Dilate. Righteous Babe Records, 1996. CD.
Pairings: Jesus/Judas, Jesus/Mary Magdalene
Rating: Mature
Content Notes: Suicide, capital punishment, interpersonal violence, some blood, nsfw language in audio, flashing lights. No other standard notes apply.
Length: 3:18
Summary: "'Twas I, Lord Jesus, I it was denied thee; I crucified thee."
Note: Yes, this is the vid I made last fall. I have finally gotten enough... chutzpuh?... to share it, and today seemed timely.

Streaming from YouTube ( under the lj-cut )

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culture consumed Wednesday: middle grade

Wed, 11 Mar 2015 08:22:40 GMT

Finished the Ramona books.

Read the following Ann M. Martin books from the library:
+The Runaway Dolls (with Laura Godwin) -- made me want to reread the Borrowers.
+Coming Apart, Main Street #9. I am enjoying the end of this series less than the beginning. :/
+Everything for a Dog, which I actually liked better than A Dog's Life, although it didn't make me cry.
+Ten Rules for Living with My Sister - so much fun.
+Better to Wish and The Long Way Home, the first two books in the Family Tree series -- I loved these immensely.

Until I can acquire more Ann from the library, rereading Harriet the Spy.

(While reading these books, btw, I am skipping over the animal deaths. Human deaths are fine, but animal deaths I can't.)

And various perfumes, and at work have been listening to music on my mp3 player, a randomish collection of upbeat stuff, to keep me awake.

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culture consumed Wednesday (belated)

Thu, 05 Feb 2015 08:47:31 GMT

Puzzle Pirates: overcame my fear of interacting with other humans, even in highly virtual context, and discovered that pillaging with a crew is vastly more lucrative than the Navy puzzles etc.

Main Street: On the third book. So very soothing. The contents of Ann M. Martin's id are so nice.

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culture created Tuesday: three sonnets

Tue, 03 Feb 2015 09:03:25 GMT

Plus the usual church stuff. It was my week to set communion.

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(belated) culture consumed Wednesday

Thu, 29 Jan 2015 07:27:03 GMT

Perfumes: various BPAL yules.

"Gossips in Ghost Land" = "black cedar, patchouli, tea leaves, spiked with pink peppercorn, mate, and lime rind." This is potent and not ~pretty and I considered washing it off rather than wearing it to work yesterday evening, but it mellowed a little as the evening progressed.

Wore "Spirit Board" tonight. "Redwood and bois de rose with white lilac, dried pink roses, and black tea." Wet on skin I could just smell the lilac, and then it became all rose, all the time, as pretty much all rose does. I like smelling of rose, so it's fine, but perhaps I can concede that I now own enough rose perfumes for the time being.

Games: Puzzle Pirates. Lots. Have been working the daily free crafting puzzles for the past several days.

Books: Finally finished Wintergirls. Tempted to turn around and reread it, but instead decided to try to read Ann M. Martin's Main Street series. (I have never read all the way through, nor even all the way through the first seven books, which is all I own. But they are very soothing.)

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culture consumed Wednesday

Wed, 21 Jan 2015 19:09:18 GMT

still reading Wintergirls.

I would really like to have time and energy and motivation to do things again.

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culture consumed Wednesday: Long Live the Queen

Thu, 08 Jan 2015 02:26:34 GMT

games
Lots and lots of Long Live the Queen. This game isn't all that great... [three days of gameplay later] goddamn this stupid game.

I am something like 2/3 of the way through.

I have unlocked 29/39 achievements, 9/11 deaths, and 16/24 epilogues. I suspect I know how to unlock 1 of the 2 remaining deaths, and 1 or maybe 2 of the achievements.

stuff that is not LLtQ

Umm... I've read a little bit of the sf anthology I started last week, and a bit of Jennifer Traig's Well Enough Alone: A Cultural History of My Hypochondria.

I am trying to remember to wear my Yules. I am finding most of them don't have as much longevity as I would like. :/

I wore "Practical Occultism" for Epiphany. Lab description: A Victorian occultist's incense, invoking the Four Archangels: precious wildcrafted Indian frankincense with myrrh, cassia, sandarac, palmarosa, white sage, red sandalwood, elemi, and drops of star anise bound with grains of kyphi. I was worried about the anise, since I'm not a huge fan of it, but it didn't overpower any of the other scents. I wore it for Epiphany because frankincense and myrrh, and because it sounded more opulent than other perfumes I have with those notes. It turned out to be a really good choice and invoked all the Epiphany feels I was hoping for.

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ha!

Sat, 03 Jan 2015 01:52:02 GMT

I beat Long Live the Queen.

( mild spoilers )

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culture consumed Wednesday: better

Thu, 25 Dec 2014 00:42:07 GMT

Finished Abhorsen. Cried at the bit at the end that I always cry at.

Read Dervish is Digital by Pat Cadigan. I found it disappointing. I was hoping that there would be a payoff in the form of a denouement, but not so much. :/

Reading Six Suspects by Vikas Swarup. I quite like it, but I have to turn my disability politics off. DID does not work that way.

ETA: Oh, and I also read How to Disappear Completely: On Modern Anorexia by Kelsey Osgood.

+

I have finally resumed watching Once Upon a Time. I'm still pausing in the middle of episodes because my attention isn't fully engaged, but I'm making progress! I still don't understand exactly what I like about this show? I guess, as aforementioned, tropey goodness. But I can't name favorite characters or 'ships or anything, and that is extremely unlike me.

Maybe it's cos my favorite relationships are all familial relationships that I don't want 'cest for?

+

Colored another mandala

+

And merry Christmas. And if the sun is still up where you are, happy Hanukkah. And happy Wednesday and/or Thursday.

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culture consumed Wednesday

Thu, 18 Dec 2014 04:50:05 GMT

Is it still only Wednesday? And shit I need to go to bed soooon but I am not really tired because I had church this evening and find that energizing.

Only 2 more days of work though.

Reading: Abhorsen, slowly.
Perfuming: Some BPALs.

Politics: a couple of Republican Senators' takes on tax reform.

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culture created Tuesday: salad days

Wed, 17 Dec 2014 00:53:34 GMT

I made a salad for church supper last week -- spinach and lettuce and tomato and zucchini and carrot and yellow squash and avocado -- and have had salad for dinner almost every day since then -- first the leftovers, then I moved on to buying new ingredients, including jalapenos (the first one was kind of a dud; the one in the salad I'm eating now... is not) and steak tips, which I cooked last night.

The brownie cheesecake I made last week turned out well.

I did the normal church stuff, and some extra schedule juggling.

Only three more days of work.

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culture created Tuesday: talking to strangers

Tue, 25 Nov 2014 19:30:17 GMT

The sum total of my contributions to the Q+A portions (and thus the formal portions) of SBL/AAR was So Jael the Vampire Slayer is a thing that exists in the world.

Off-record, I managed to say to a speaker I encountered later at a restaurant, "I really appreciated your critique of [scholar's] paper."

And everything else was culture consumed.

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December talking meme

Sat, 15 Nov 2014 20:17:18 GMT

I have surrendered to peer pressure. I failed miserably at this last January, so I have penciled in the topics leftover from then. Please, feel free to make requests.

Things I successfully talked about last year:
wacky Bible hijinks
baking
wacky Bible crossovers

Things I am extremely likely to talk about:
food
religion

Things I am less likely to talk about:
things that aren't food or religion

But you can try, and I will try to answer. :)

November 30: Something I hope to accomplish in the coming year (moving this to Advent 1)
December 1: BSC members and their favorite things to bake
December 2: Easy and delicious dessert recipes suitable for very novice bakers.
December 3:
December 4: Bible story I find most difficult
December 5: queerness vis-a-vis the Bible.
December 6: tips for beginning bread bakers
December 7: the ELCA
December 8:
December 9:
December 10:
December 11: Food and church
December 12:
December 13:
December 14:
December 15: Biblical food
December 16:
December 17:
December 18:
December 19:
December 20: Cats in my life!
December 21:
December 22:
December 23:
December 24:
December 25:
December 26: gender
December 27: Fred and Illyria
December 28:
December 29:
December 30:
December 31:

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culture consumed Wednesday: pumpkins, pirates, perfume, and gender-based violence

Thu, 13 Nov 2014 02:15:40 GMT

ELCA Draft Statement on Gender-Based Violence. It is well-written and I'm pleased with it in various ways, but I'm definitely most personally pleased about the inclusion of non-binary genders (not perfectly and not using the language I would use, but clearly intentionally inclusive.)

books
I read two Jincy Willett novels: Amy Falls Down, which is a sequel to The Writing Class, and Winner of the National Book Award: A Novel of Fame, Honor, and Really Bad Weather, which it turns out I'd read before, although I didn't remember any details.

I liked both of these books, but neither as much as I liked The Writing Class.

Winner of the National Book Award is full of gender-based violence, helpfully tying this post together thematically.

I read Bridget Jones: Mad about the Boy by Helen Fielding. I... well. That is a choice you could make, Helen Fielding!

[spoilers]
( Read more... )

unspoilery: Like the previous two books this is laugh-out-loud funny. Bridget remains adorable and sympathetic. It was enjoyable on all those levels, but not ultimately emotionally satisfying because of reasons under the cut-tag (which, while spoilery, I don't think will spoil one's enjoyment of the book, whose pleasure lies mostly in humor and character voice.)

There are children in the picture, whom I didn't find particularly realistically drawn but who weren't annoying.

It's definitely not porn; it's also definitely more sexually explicit than the previous two books. I once read a review of the film that said something like, "There's a suggestion that Daniel and Bridget indulged in anal sex, something that would never happen in the book." This book doesn't have anal sex, but it would not be out of place.

I miss Shazzer. :(

Content note: there is a fairly substantial plotline involving weight loss/fat/obesity in a way that's different from the previous books and might be more triggery (on the other hand, it's fairly self-contained, and the rest of the book has less yo-yo dieting than the previous books); if it would be helpful to anyone I'd be happy to talk about this in more detail.

There are also other ick things that are common squicks -- there are parts that it would be wise not to read while eating.

It makes me wish that I could write fanfic again because it desperately needs a completely different ending. :(

I started reading cite>Clariel by Garth Nix. This is a major tonal shift from the other books I read this week and I'm finding getting into it slow-going.

games

I played some Puzzle Pirates while on the phone with Elizabeth the other day.

perfume
(Spoilers: I suck at identifying scents.)

I finished the 'weenies:

Pumpkin I
should be: "Pumpkin cream with cardamom, black tea, allspice, and ginger milk."
was: Cake! I probably need to stop acquiring MORE BPAL foodie scents because they all smell indistinguishably of cake to me, but in the meantime, cake!

Pumpkin IV
Should be: "Warm pumpkin with three honeys, oudh, sweet frankincense, and champaca resin."
Was: And yet another cake, with maybe the faaaaintest hint of something darker -- cinnammon? incense? underneath. Yup, definitely need to declare foodie scents from BPAL off-limits. They smell perfectly nice, like a generic sweet baked good, but, e.g., these didn't really smell of pumpkin to me, and I now own enough of them that if I desire this scent I have maybe half a dozen options. Sigh. Really disappointed, because description sounded sooo promising

I got Anne Bonny as a frimp from synecdochic_decants.
Should be: "A blend of Indonesian red patchouli, red sandalwood, and frankincense."
Was: Oooh. After ALL THE CAKE this is kind of a relief. Brine? It does have an aquatic sense to it, but maybe like a seaport, a bit of salt and -- cedar? -- I am definitely getting pirate feels from this. I think I might be sensing the same "trickle of blood" that's in Valentine of Rome.

music

I actually listened to Spotify for awhile this afternoon. All David Haas.

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culture consumed Wednesday

Thu, 06 Nov 2014 04:03:03 GMT

books:

I finished The Night She Died and read all of Six Feet Under by Dorothy Simpson. I really like these books; they are British cozies featuring an police detective, and all the mysteries are of the small village/lots of secrets/complicated interpersonal relationships kind, very Agatha Christie (and particularly very Jane Marple; Jane Marple would solve all of these cases in basically a day, but we provide allowances for Detective Inspector Luke Thanet.) They were written in the 1980s and 1990s and are set then, which is really nice and appropriately period, and only occasionally provides confusion of the, "How did people live before Google?" variety. (When reading Christie, it's easy to put myself in that time period, but these are much closer to contemporary so I keep doing doubletakes and thinking, "Can't you just check the internets?")

I also read 1 Kings and a good bit of 2 Kings for Sunday school. I will try to finish 2 Kings, and then read Micah, which is what's next.

In terms of fiction, next up is the set of library books that I am very excited about -- there is apparently a third Bridget Jones book, there are two more books by Jincy Willett, and there is Clariel.

For many years of my life, I looked fruitlessly for Regiment of Women by Clemence Dane. A chapter was anthologized in Chloe Plus Olivia: An Anthology of Lesbian Literature from the Seventeenth Century to the Present ed. Lillian Faderman, and that chapter plus the things mentioned in the preceding biographical blurb were basically tailor-made for my burgeoning kinks. (It is not a happy story and is deeply homophobic, according to the summary, and ends with pastede on het, but!

[behind the cut for trigger warnings, because your kinks are not my kinks. (Probably internalized) homophobia and mention of suicide]

( Read more... )

Anyhow, I fruitlessly searched for many years but couldn't find it, and yesterday I suddenly remembered it -- I saw mention of "queer literary fiction" and it popped into my head -- and lo, there is is on Project Gutenberg. If we have this technology, why don't we have the technology to send it back in time to me-at-fourteen, who really wanted to read it? I suck at reading long things on my computer, and my interest in self-loathing lesbians is substantially less than it used to be, so I suspect I won't actually read it. Which is sad, because teenage!me. (and because I feel like a crossover between this and Discworld's Monstrous Regiment needs to exist.)

perfume

My BPAL 'weenie decants from synecdochic_decants arrived just in time for me to wear the first four on the correct days. Brief writeups, since heaven knows I won't manage longer ones:
( Read more... )

food

I usually talk about this on Culture Created Tuesday, since most of the food I eat is created by me, but we went out to eat for my birthday.

We went to Alladin Cafe. I got lentil soup ("Red lentils seasoned with saffron, curry, cumin and lemon") and lamb kabob ("Tender marinated lamb, grilled and served with cucumber yogurt sauce" and with basmati rice and sautéed vegetables). It was all quite delicious.

I also got crème brûlée from Cosentinos, which was, as aforementioned, both disappointing and inspirational.

coloring books

I am not sure where these fall on the consumed/created scale, but Elizabeth gave me a Care Bears coloring and activity book for my birthday, so the first hour of being 29 was a lot like being 5.

sports

I half-heartedly watched the by-play on mlb.com during the last game of the World Series, so I would know whether my pie was celebratory or consoling.

+++

idk, I feel like I don't know where the week went. I mean, frequently I frivol away time, but I usually at least know where it went. I guess I did a bunch of baking, and read a novel and a half, and did a bunch of personal writing, and went out to eat with my roommates, and had a long phone call with my dad last night, and these things add up.

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love meme

Mon, 03 Nov 2014 14:47:08 GMT

for my birthday

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Sat, 01 Nov 2014 05:08:55 GMT

time to begin procrastinating on NaNo! (I have really low expectations given how very little I've been able to write in the past several years, but I don't have to work so I'm gonna at least pretend to be trying.)

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culture consumed Wednesday:

Wed, 29 Oct 2014 23:27:25 GMT

games
I downloaded Puzzle Pirates to fill in the gaps while I waited for characters to heal in Marvel Puzzle Quest. 31 hours later...

Things about Puzzle Pirates that are fun:
+Gameplay/puzzles, for the most part. Naturally I am especially fond of the ones with mechanics similar to Bejeweled or Tetris.
+Watching ranking go up in some puzzles.

Things that are really not fun:
+Inscribed gender binary.
+The whole concept of interacting with other people is scary to me.
+Complicated but not especially interesting worldbuilding (politics and economy).

books
I unpacked my mysteries and am reading The Night She Died by Dorothy Simpson.

audio
I've been listening to Savage Lovecast while I game, which isn't necessarily more improving, but is at least stimulating in a different way.

tv

I stalled in the middle of an episode of Once Upon a Time.

++++

Next: I'm going to try to keep reading mysteries and also try to game less (or at least fucking play Dragon Age, which has a compelling storyline.

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culture created Tuesday

Wed, 29 Oct 2014 03:13:32 GMT

Other:
Assembled bookcase from Target

Food:
Pizza (Crust=Now or Later Pizza, makes two crusts, topped one with sauce and cheese and pepperoni and cheese and pepperoni, the other one will be baked when I'm done with this one.)

Bagels (plain). I am getting better at shaping them.

Ambitions: still pecan pie, gingerbread plus (=gingerbread cake with ginger syrup, which I intend to make from the ginger root I bought the other week), cheesecake with ginger syrup in. I am going to a party on Saturday night and refreshments on Sunday are potluck, and my birthday is on Monday, so variations on the theme of "birthday cake."

The other pizza (which is easy, because just needs topped and baked).

Worship:
Created worship schedule with only two fuckups. :/ (All got worked out but still).
Thursday email.
Started drafting November worship team agenda.

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culture consumed Wednesday:

Wed, 22 Oct 2014 23:00:40 GMT

games:

I'm playing Marvel Puzzle Quest, which is Bejeweled with Marvel heroes, because it was nominated for Yuletide. It is, as is the nature of Bejeweled, incredibly addictive. I should probably see if the computer can endure playing it and podcasts at the same time, so I'm not completely wasting my time.

There isn't a lot of narrative, but the dialogue is witty and I've laughed a bunch of times.

books:

I read I and II Samuel for Sunday school. vass, I think I've changed my mind and wanna cliff David, so I suppose shag Saul?

As happened when I skimmed I Samuel for that conversation with Vass, I have lots of Saul feels.

The Inclusive Bible puts an intentional David/Jonathan slant on the story, because Inclusive Bible.

Other reading:
I finished The Family Trade, by Charles Stross. Not going to read more of the series, even though the book ends -- not on a cliffhanger, but also not at a particularly satisfying ending place.

I read The Writing Class by Jincy Willett in one long sitting and enjoyed it very much. Possibly what Tiggers are in the mood for is mystery, not sf?

Nevertheless, I'm working on the 22nd Year's Best Science Fiction ed. Gardner Dozois. Like the last volume of this anthology I read, this is fairly entertaining. I really liked the first story, "Inappropriate Behavior" by Pat Murphy.

tv:
Some more of OuAT. I most recently watched 2x13, "Tiny," and predictably cried. This show this show this shooooooow

sports:
Listened to an inning and a half of the Royals game last night. I really, really want to care about the Royals (because Kansas City is my home), but apparently I just don't. :/

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