I think neither. I think she is exhibiting the privilege of an individual in an opposite sex relationship, and that doesn't easily boil down to a nice two word capitalized phrase. It is still privilege, but it is neither bisexual privilege nor heterosexual privilege. It is, on the other hand, HETERONORMATIVE privilege -- the privilege of somebody living a heteronormative lifestyle.
I really get a little nervous when people start talking about "bisexual" privilege, because I'm in just such a situation. I am a bisexual, cisgendered woman who is engaged to a straight, cisgendered man. And yes, I get the privilege of not having people stare at me in public when I hold hands with him, or not having to answer rude questions ("which one of you is the man?" or "how do you have sex?") or face prejudice from people who judge things on first sight.
But I also have people in my family who think that it means I'm not really bisexual and who have laughed in my face when I tried to tell them that I was. It also means that I've had people in the queer community who've called me a "tourist" and a "faker", saying I wasn't really queer at all.
I liken it to someone who, while being of another race, can "pass as white". So, in public, when people don't know any better, they treat that person white. But once they know the person is, say, Latino or Asian or something, then they start applying prejudices and racism.
And it doesn't mean that the racism that's used against the group the person belongs to doesn't hurt, because they identify with that group, so even if someone believes that one individual to be white, hearing things like, "Oh you know what the Hispanics are like" doesn't hurt.
It doesn't mean they have privilege, it just means they have camouflage.
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wisdomeagle) wrote2009-04-06 08:35 pm
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thanks.
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I really get a little nervous when people start talking about "bisexual" privilege, because I'm in just such a situation. I am a bisexual, cisgendered woman who is engaged to a straight, cisgendered man. And yes, I get the privilege of not having people stare at me in public when I hold hands with him, or not having to answer rude questions ("which one of you is the man?" or "how do you have sex?") or face prejudice from people who judge things on first sight.
But I also have people in my family who think that it means I'm not really bisexual and who have laughed in my face when I tried to tell them that I was. It also means that I've had people in the queer community who've called me a "tourist" and a "faker", saying I wasn't really queer at all.
I liken it to someone who, while being of another race, can "pass as white". So, in public, when people don't know any better, they treat that person white. But once they know the person is, say, Latino or Asian or something, then they start applying prejudices and racism.
And it doesn't mean that the racism that's used against the group the person belongs to doesn't hurt, because they identify with that group, so even if someone believes that one individual to be white, hearing things like, "Oh you know what the Hispanics are like" doesn't hurt.
It doesn't mean they have privilege, it just means they have camouflage.